The Mindset of Success by Jo Owen

Author:Jo Owen
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kogan Page
Published: 2017-11-13T16:22:28+00:00

Listening: the art of alignment

The best leaders have two ears and one mouth. And they use them in that proportion: they listen at least twice as much as they talk. Most of us feel that we are not listened to or understood properly. When someone takes time to listen, they are quietly flattering us by investing time with us. Do some listening research: go to a coffee bar and watch two people gossiping. Normally, one will be holding court while the other listens. All the listener has to do is to look interested and occasionally say things like, ‘Really?!... She said what?!... He didn’t, did he?’ This prompts the talker to open up even more. Back at work, the more you listen, the more you will understand what your colleagues really think, and what they hope and fear. They are giving you the raw material of influence: information.

One of the most effective influencers I worked with was a paradox. She had no charisma, she was dull and unimaginative and was never at risk of having an original idea. And clients loved her. One day, I found out why. I saw her listening to a client at 11 am. At 7.30 pm, she was still listening to him. By the end of the day, the client had poured his heart out to her. In her words: ‘Only when he had emptied his brain, could I start filling it with my ideas – which I was able to present to him as his ideas.’

Listening helps you in several ways, because it:

flatters the other person;

lets you build an emotional bond with them;

helps you understand what they are thinking;

enables you to present your ideas in a way that aligns with what they need and want.

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