The Life-Saving Divorce: Hope for People Leaving Destructive Relationships by Gretchen Baskerville

Author:Gretchen Baskerville [Baskerville, Gretchen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Life Saving Press
Published: 2020-03-13T17:00:00+00:00

Ask your attorney about removing weapons such as knives, guns, and martial arts weapons from the house, or hide them. In some states, it is legal to remove ammunition from weapons and lock it up, and to take weapons to someone else’s house for safe keeping. If you are in a state where the laws prohibit this, get yourself away to safety.

But I’m Not Ready! This Is Too Much for Me!

For some people, this list is empowering. It gives them hope and something positive to focus on.

But if this list looks intimidating to you, I get it.

If your head is spinning because your ex-spouse handled all the finances, that’s okay. You may be saying to yourself, “That’s an overwhelming list. I could never do it.” That’s okay, too. Leave it for your attorney to do. They do it all the time.

If you are in danger right now, get out. Don’t even bother working on the list. Just get yourself to safety.

For others, perhaps you aren’t ready to get divorced, but you just want to get safer than you are right now. You want to learn to protect yourself and your kids better. You want a plan just in case something goes wrong. For you, just pick a few items on the list, and get started!

One abused woman in my group had been physically disabled due to a work injury for many years. She had minor children and her elderly, wheelchair-bound mother living with her. She’d been married for over 25 years and had been traumatized by every type of abuse: emotional, physical, sexual, and financial.

At first, it seemed impossible to get away from her abusive husband. It looked like she was trapped forever. She was even too frightened to take a printed copy of this escape plan, for fear her husband might find it. But she hid a PDF copy of the “Escape Plan” on her phone, and she started working on it. Here’s what she said:

I was told often by my abusive husband that no one else would want me. And if I left and divorced him, I would be homeless and he would get the kids. We had already lost everything: my childhood home, filed for bankruptcy, failed marriage… Abusers rationalize everything: They tell you, “It wasn’t that bad. You’re exaggerating.”

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