The Leftovers by Cassandra Parkin

Author:Cassandra Parkin [Parkin, Cassandra]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Legend Press

There are signs, there are so many signs, but I don’t see them. Frey is oddly off his breakfast-making game, stumbling a little over each step, the delicate mechanism of his timing coming undone. The toast pops up before his tea is mashed, and the slow turn of his head as he realises what’s happened strikes me – the person whose job it is to know him – as funny. I smile. God forgive me.

“It’s fine,” I say to Frey. “Nobody gets things right every time. Do you want me to sort your tea while you get the toast ready?”

His head turns downwards, his gaze drops to the left. ‘No, thank you.’

“Okay, shall I do the toast and you do the tea? Oh, wait, you like your toast hot… we can put the toast back in to rewarm it?”

What Frey really wants is for me to make it so that the toaster has not flung his toast out prematurely. Since he can’t have that, he’d like me to stop making suggestions that make everything worse (Would you like me to alter the fabric of reality, Frey? Would you like me to make everything loud and strange and confusing? Heap more confusion on top?). He’s caught in a moment of panic as profound as if the floor were to melt, or the walls to split open.

Floss comes inside and goes straight to him, leans against his leg. He strokes her head. Gathers his strength. Takes the teabag from the mug and puts it on the saucer by the kettle. Plucks his toast from the toaster, handling it gingerly, as if it might come to life and attack him. Since his schedule’s gone awry, anything is now possible. I ought to appreciate the heroism of Frey in this moment.

Instead, I think, that’s good, he’s going to eat it, and take cereal from the cupboard. I pour out Josh’s breakfast as well as my own – a small act of kindness he’ll reciprocate later by making me a mid-morning coffee with my favourite biscuit. We’re like an old married couple, expressing our affection not through sex or even touch, but small gestures that say ‘I know you, I care about your well-being’. Josh and I eat our cereal. Frey eats most of his toast. We drink our coffee and our tea. The floor does not melt. The walls do not split.

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