The Intimacy Experiment by Rosie Danan

Author:Rosie Danan [Danan, Rosie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Publishing Group
Published: 2021-04-06T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eighteen

ETHAN NEVER FELT less qualified to be a rabbi than at the bottom of the fifth inning.

It was always right around then when his arm started going rubbery and he’d managed to chew through his bottom lip. His defenses against uncharitable, unsportsmanlike thoughts fell with each passing pitch.

Winning was like a drug. As far back as he could remember, he’d let the heady perfume of victory go straight to his bloodstream until he could feel the power of it when he flexed his fingers. And like any drug, the lack of it kept him up at night.

If he were a better man, he’d have avoided the softball league altogether. It presented too much temptation for his competitive side on a good day, and that was before Naomi had shown up and turned a seemingly innocuous uniform incendiary.

He had been a good athlete through high school and college. Not that good, obviously. No one had tried to recruit him or anything. But he’d earned himself a bit of a reputation. Teams didn’t like to see his name on the opposing side’s roster. The Sunday synagogue league wasn’t much, but there weren’t that many sports where short Jews with bad knees thrived. Ethan took what he could get.

Former glory days aside, he didn’t particularly want Naomi witnessing the sore-loser side of him. It was fine if the team saw him as a little hotheaded. Not great, but not lethal either. He never yelled or threw his glove or anything. The worst he did was go a little quiet when they lost in spectacular fashion.

It was undeniably embarrassing how much he cared. Rec softball was meant to be a respite from the hectic demands of capitalism. Or, in many of his teammates’ cases, from the monotony of early retirement.

Thankfully, Ethan’s congregants appreciated how hard he played and how many hours he put into strategizing and organizing practices around his other synagogue commitments. Morey said the team believed in Ethan because Ethan believed in the game.

There was no point denying that he’d be a lot happier if they weren’t losing right now. It ate at his pride that he couldn’t stop exposing his flaws in front of Naomi. He’d been trying to play it cool since their last seminar, but by the second time he walked a batter with a full count, it got a little bit harder.

The score was close enough that he couldn’t let go of hope. Despite his flagging arm, they’d managed to close out the top of the inning without letting in any more runs. This next turn at bat was their best chance for a comeback.

They were back at the top of their order. If Beth Elohim could pick up three runs, they could tie the game, and Ethan could salvage what remained of his dignity.

Ethan pulverized a tacky stick of gum as he called out the lineup and tried not to let Naomi catch him scowling. She’d been quiet all game. He’d caught her staring at the opposing team’s first baseman a handful of times before he realized he recognized the player.

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