The History of Living Forever_A Novel by Jake Wolff
Author:Jake Wolff [Wolff, Jake]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: science fiction
ISBN: 9780374170660
Google: IrNuDwAAQBAJ
Amazon: 0374170665
Goodreads: 41940452
Publisher: Farrar, Straus and Giroux
Published: 2019-06-11T00:00:00+00:00
13
My Husbandâs Diagnosis
The day after my husbandâs medical chip sounded its alarm, we went together to the doctor. My husbandâs case history was downloaded from the chip, blood tests were taken, MRIs administered. We sat in the doctorâs office, where he had all the scans displayed on the screen behind himârotating, glowing, color coded. He was older, early eighties, the only doctor in Winterville.
My husbandâs brain looked like a fetus in ultrasound: rounded and small with the potential for bigness. A depthless grayâthe color of the ocean in winter. Our doctor swept his hands across it like a weatherman tracking a storm system. âYou have a pontine glioma. Which means you have a cancerous tumor on your brain stem.â
âI want a second opinion,â my husband joked.
To my surprise, our doctor took it as one and smiled. âListen, if we were having this conversation ten, twenty years ago, I would be telling you to call your loved ones and make arrangements. Thatâs how bad this was.â
I squeezed my husbandâs hand. âBut now we can go home, make dinner, and it will go away on its own?â
âHa.â The doctor tapped his computer and sent some literature to our phones: Difficult Cancers of the Brain. âThe difference is we could never operate on these, but now we can. Itâs all chip guided.â
My husband was touching dumbly, adorably, at the back of his head, as though he might feel the tumor pushing through his skull. âSo whatâs next?â
âBefore we consider surgery, we try radiation. It probably wonât work, but thatâs where we start.â
I looked up from my phone. âThis says we should go straight to surgery. As soon as possible.â
Our doctor looked surprised. âYou read fast.â
I could feel my husband watching me, glowing with pride. He loved this side of meâthis smart, bumptious kid who would do intellectual combat with anyone. Through his eyes, I loved it in myself.
âItâs true that it says that. But the people who wrote that are out of touch. Theyâve only seen the brain through a computer.â The doctor was talking to himself as much as to us. âThe brain seems like such a powerful thing, but Iâm telling you, when you pop open the skull and see one, itâs just a little raisin in there.â
âSo youâre saying surgery is riskier than the pamphlet says?â asked my husband, trying to mediate.
The doctor sat forward in his seat. âIâm saying a lot can go wrong. You could come out a different person. Or with slurred speech. Or not able to open your eyes.â
I wasnât sure if that was a euphemism for being dead or if he meant my husbandâs eyelids might actually stop working.
So we scheduled the radiation and went home. I told my husband to sit, relax, let me make dinner. French onion soupâhis favorite. But he stayed in the kitchen with me while I cooked, which is exactly what I wanted. When it was ready, we wrapped ourselves in blankets and ate our soup outside. We watched some fat squirrels chase each other up and down the trees.
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