The Good, the Bad, and the Beautiful by Wright Doyle

Author:Wright Doyle
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: marriage;wife;husband;Biblical marriage;long-term relationships;love;romance;friendship;conflict resolution;divorce;devotion;admiration;forgiveness;counseling;infidelity;sex;male;female;companionship;helper;children;parents;adultery;remarriage;reconciliation
Publisher: Torchflame Books
Published: 2018-05-31T16:00:00+00:00

Love This Man, This Woman

Many wedding ceremonies include a question like this: “Do you take this woman to be your wife? … Do you take this man to be your husband?” I did not realize the significance of that little word “this” until just recently. When we answer this question, “I do,” we are pledging to love the person standing next to us, not the person we hope he or she will be once desired changes have been made. This difference is profound, and grasping it could save your marriage from unnecessary misery. Here’s what I mean: You must abandon conditions when you marry.

I once heard a man who had been married more than thirty years say, “Our relationship has dramatically improved recently.” “Why?” I asked. I was really curious. “I gave up all my expectations.” As I pondered his words, I thought about how I have often withheld affection because Dori had not altered her behavior as I had hoped and had asked her to do. In other words, I was waiting for her to become a different person before giving her my love, rather than loving her as she was now. What if God treated us this way? We would all be lost, both now and forever!

That does not mean that we keep totally silent about our desires, or that we do not bring up matters that have arisen between us. Prompt and sincere communication is essential for a happy marriage. But once we have humbly expressed our requests—notice, I did not say demands—then we must resort to prayer and our own good example to influence our mate, but without any expectation of change. In other words, we resolve to love this person, not someone we hope he or she will become.

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