The Glass Kingdom by Chris Flynn

Author:Chris Flynn
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: FIC020000, FIC050000, FIC016000
ISBN: 9781922148889
Publisher: The Text Publishing Company
Published: 2014-05-27T16:00:00+00:00

Snoop-a-loop, I can’t tell if I’m listing to port or starboard here. I’m all over da joint. It’s like the end of 2001 up in my dome. Just what do you think you’re doing, Dave? Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do. I’m half crazy, all for the love of you. Don’t get high on your own supply. That’s what the man said. Son, you do not want to meet Tony Montana’s little friend. That glass highway is one slippery road to perdition an’ I be trippin’ right the way along that particular stretch of the light fantastic. Alakazam brother, alakazam.

I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have done it. I shouldn’t have done it. But I done it. Just a little sample of the goods Freddy ever so kindly served up for me. A tiny, teensy-weensy taste, just a wafer-thin mint, monsieur, hardly a trifle. And then bam! The back of a hand across my cheek to rattle the fillings. Bam! But I did floss, I did, just like you told me! Bam! Do you have the faintest fucken idea how expensive Listerine is? That shit’s like ten dollars, man. Bam! The dilithium crystals cannae take much more of this, captain, I might have to eject the warp core.

Now you listen to me, mister, and you listen good: you are not ejecting any core of mine and the only tunnel I be going down is track nine to Cooch Central. All aboard, have your tix an’ dix in hand, please, gentlemen. Those of you with smaller appendages may assemble in the front carriage. Please be advised there is no dining car so I hope you are prepared to eat out. Holy Jesus fucken Christ our Lord and saviour Allah Buddha Krishna L. Ron Hubbard and Odin as played by Sir Anthony motherfucking Hopkins a little help over here dawg, think I’m drowning I’m waving I’m dying I’m dying and hold your breath and…

Stop.

Exhale.

Open. Your. Eyes.

Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated. And I clearly should not do crystal meth when I’m on meds. No. Definitely not. Mos Def. Talib Kweli. Now I know. At least I know. It’s not even a question of getting high on my own supply. I just cannot do that shit. Evidently. Indubitably. Holy fuck, that was intense. No wonder the rubes are snatching it up. But it ain’t for me, dawg. No sirree, Bob. Or Freddy. Sorry, brother. Freddy. You got a bathroom somewheres I could use? Oh, and I’ll take seven grand’s worth. Yup. Seven. Three zeros, homie. Ain’t my money. That belongs to Emperor Ming. One and the same. Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t die foolish. Hey, nice pool!

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