The Edge of Every Day by Sardy Marin;

Author:Sardy, Marin; [Sardy, Marin]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Penguin Random House LLC
Published: 2019-05-21T00:00:00+00:00

* * *

—

My twelfth year, the third year of my mother’s illness, was an in-between time in my family’s understanding of our loss, when the initial shock had worn off but we did not yet recognize the change as permanent. For me it was a time of knowing what was happening and yet being unable to consider that it might keep happening indefinitely.

I have only a handful of memories of that year. Moments at my father’s house. Moments at school. Moments in the park across the street and at the house of a friend who lived nearby. But the interior of the house my mother rented—she only lived in it that one year—escapes me utterly. I have tried and tried to conjure an image, at least, of my own bedroom, but nothing comes.

I can’t know what happened in my missing year, but I suspect it was fairly prosaic: that my mother had a terrible illness and I had to witness it, and witness it, and witness it. Loss to mental illness is a particular thing. For the first few years everything about it read like a dead language turned upside down. My siblings and I couldn’t yet see patterns in the strange, imperfect logic of psychosis. Life with my mother was a complicated blend of sense and nonsense. I believe what my gaps hide are innumerable small comments, gestures, and expressions that collectively betrayed this truth.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.