The Day I (Almost) Killed Two Gretzkys by James Duthie

Author:James Duthie
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins Canada
Published: 2013-03-16T04:00:00+00:00

Chapter 40

Mats, Please Put us Out of our Misery

December 2008

My least favourite season in this business, my annus horribilis, was 2004–05, a.k.a, the NHL Lockout. Not only was there no hockey, but months went by without anything of substance happening, yet we still had to talk about it on TV every night. It became Seinfeld, without the comedy. A show about nothing.

Mats Sundin has become The Lockout, version 2K8.

For six months, we've been waiting for him to make up his mind. Six months!?! Presidents and prime ministers have been elected. Economies have crumbled. And still, we wait on Mats. Somebody shoot me. Wait, time to update that phrase: Somebody Plaxico Burress me.

In what psychologists would deem a cry for help, I decided to compile a timeline of the Sundin saga, a form of self-inflicted torture much more horrific than anything that sicko in the Saw movies could dream up. I've added footnotes for. . . umm. . . historical perspective.

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