The Collected Tales by Nikolai Gogol

Author:Nikolai Gogol [Gogol, Nikolai]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2011-05-16T17:51:09+00:00

Ukrainian Tales

With that, Ivan Ivanovich bowed and sat down.

"One little cup?"

"Oh, very well, one little cup," said Ivan Ivanovich, reaching toward the tray.

Lord God! such bottomless refinement some people have! It's impossible to describe what a pleasant impression such behavior makes!

"Wouldn't you care for another cup?"

"I humbly thank you," replied Ivan Ivanovich, placing the cup upside down on the tray and bowing.

"Be so kind, Ivan Ivanovich!"

"I can't. Thank you very much." With that, Ivan Ivanovich bowed and sat down.

"Ivan Ivanovich! be a friend, one little cup!"

"No, much obliged."

Having said this, Ivan Ivanovich bowed and sat down.

"Just one cup! one little cup!"

Ivan Ivanovich reached toward the tray and took a cup.

Pah! damnation! How some people are able, how they manage to maintain their dignity!

"Demyan Demyanovich," Ivan Ivanovich said as he finished the last sip, "I've come to you on some necessary business. I'm putting in a claim." With that, Ivan Ivanovich set down his cup and took from his pocket a sheet of official stamped paper with writing on it. "A claim against an enemy of mine, a sworn enemy."

"Who might that be?"

"Ivan Nikiforovich Dovgochkhun."

At these words the judge nearly fell off his chair.

"What are you saying!" he uttered, clasping his hands. "Ivan Ivanovich, is this you?"

"You can see for yourself it is."

"The Lord God and all his saints be with you! What! you, Ivan Ivanovich, have become enemies with Ivan Nikiforovich? Is it your lips saying so? Repeat it again! Someone must be hiding behind you and talking in your place! . . ."

"What's so incredible about it? I can't bear the sight of him; he has mortally offended me, insulted my honor."

"Most holy Trinity! how will I ever make my mother believe it now? And she, the old lady, says to me every day, when I quarrel with my sister, 'You children live like cat and dog together. Why don't you take example from Ivan Ivanovich and Ivan Nikiforovich? There are two real friends! Such friends! Such worthy people!' That's friends for you! Tell me, what was it? how?"

"It's a delicate matter, Demyan Demyanovich! impossible to put into words. Better order my petition to be read. Here, take it from this side, it's more fitting."

"Read it, Taras Tikhonovich!" said the judge, turning to the secretary.

Taras Tikhonovich took the petition and, having blown his nose with the aid of two fingers, as all court secretaries do, began to read:

"From Ivan, son of Ivan, Pererepenko, gentleman of the Mirgorod region and landowner, a petition; and on what, the points follow herewith:

"1. Known to the whole world for his iniquitous, loathsome, and beyond-all-measure law-breaking actions, the gentleman, Ivan, son of Nikifor, Dovgochkhun, on the 7th of July of the year 1810 instant, did occasion me a mortal offense, as much in reference to my personal honor as in equal measure to the humiliation and embarrassment of my rank and name. This gentleman, being of vile appearance, is likewise of an abusive character and filled with all sorts of blasphemy and abuse . .

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