The Collected Stories of Frank Herbert by Frank Herbert

Author:Frank Herbert
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781466829879
Publisher: Tom Doherty Associates

THE TACTFUL SABOTEUR

“Better men than you have tried!” snarled Clinton Watt.

“I quote paragraph four, section ninety-one of the Semantic Revision to the Constitution,” said saboteur extraordinary Jorj X. McKie. “‘The need for obstructive processes in government having been established as one of the chief safeguards for human rights, the question of immunities must be defined with extreme precision.’”

McKie sat across a glistening desk from the Intergalactic Government’s Secretary of Sabotage, Clinton Watt. An air of tension filled the green-walled office, carrying over into the screenview behind Watt which showed an expanse of the System Government’s compound and people scurrying about their morning business with a sense of urgency.

Watt, a small man who appeared to crackle with suppressed energy, passed a hand across his shaven head. “All right,” he said in a suddenly tired voice. “This is the only Secretariat of government that’s never immune from sabotage. You’ve satisfied the legalities by quoting the law. Now, do your damnedest!”

McKie, whose bulk and fat features usually gave him the appearance of a grandfatherly toad, glowered like a gnome-dragon. His mane of red hair appeared to dance with inner flame.

“Damnedest!” he snapped. “You think I came in here to try to unseat you? You think that?”

And McKie thought: Let’s hope he thinks that!

“Stop the act, McKie!” Watt said. “We both know you’re eligible for this chair.” He patted the arm of his chair. “And we both know the only way you can eliminate me and qualify yourself for the appointment is to overcome me with a masterful sabotage. Well, McKie, I’ve sat here more than eighteen years. Another five months and it’ll be a new record. Do your damnedest. I’m waiting.”

“I came in here for only one reason,” McKie said. “I want to report on the search for saboteur extraordinary Napoleon Bildoon.”

McKie sat back wondering: If Watt knew my real purpose here would he act just this way? Perhaps. The man had been behaving oddly since the start of this interview, but it was difficult to determine real motive when dealing with a fellow member of the Bureau of Sabotage.

Cautious interest quickened Watt’s bony face. He wet his lips with his tongue and it was obvious he was asking himself if this were more of an elaborate ruse. But McKie had been assigned the task of searching for the missing agent, Bildoon, and it was just possible …

“Have you found him?” Watt asked.

“I’m not sure,” McKie said. He ran his fingers through his red hair. “Bildoon’s a Pan-Spechi, you know.”

“For disruption’s sake!” Watt exploded. “I know who and what my own agents are! But we take care of our own. And when one of our best people just drops from sight … What’s this about not being sure?”

“The Pan-Spechi are a curious race of creatures,” McKie said. “Just because they’ve taken on humanoid shape we tend to forget their five-phase life cycle.”

“Bildoon told me himself he’d hold his group’s ego at least another ten years,” Watt said. “I think he was being truthful, but…” Watt shrugged and some of the bursting energy seemed to leave him.

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