The Collected Stories by Paul Theroux

Author:Paul Theroux [Theroux, Paul]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780241963739
Publisher: Penguin Books Ltd
Published: 2012-02-25T00:00:00+00:00

The Autumn Dog

‘Mine used to sweat in his sleep,’ said the woman in the white dress, a bit drunkenly. ‘It literally poured off him! During the day he’d be dry as a bone, but as soon as he closed his eyes, bingo, he’d start percolating.’

Her name was Maxine Stanhope and practically the first thing she had said to the woman who sat opposite was, ‘Please call me Max, all my friends do.’ They sat on the verandah of a hotel outside Denpasar, in Bali, in the sun the other tourists avoided. They had dark reptilian tans and slouched languorously in the comfortable chairs like lizards sunning themselves on a rock. Lunch was over, the wine was gone, their voices were raised in emphatic friendliness. They had known each other for only three hours.

‘Mine didn’t sweat that much, but he made the most fantastic noises,’ said Milly Strang. ‘He carried on these mumbling monologues, using different voices, and groaning and sort of swallowing. Sometimes I’d wake up and just look at him and laugh.’

‘It’s not funny,’ said Maxine. But she was laughing; she was the larger of the two, and sharp-featured, her hair tugged back and fitting her head closely. There was a male’s growl of satisfaction in her laugh, not the high mirth you would have expected from that quick, companionable mouth. ‘When I remember the things he put me through, I think I must have been crazy. Mine made me warm his cup. I should have broken it over his head.’

‘Mine had this way of pawing me when he was feeling affectionate. He was really quite strong. He left bruises! I suppose he thought he was – what’s the expression? – turning me on.’

‘They always think that,’ said Maxine. She held the empty wine bottle over the other’s glass until a drop fell out. ‘Let’s have another – wine makes me honest.’

‘I’ve had quite enough,’ said Milly.

‘You’re the boss,’ said Maxine. Then she said, ‘Mine weighed two hundred pounds.’

‘Well, mine was at least that. I’m not exaggerating. When I think of him on top of me – it’s ludicrous.’

‘It’s obscene. Mine kept gaining weight, and finally I said to him, “Look, if this goes on anymore we won’t be able to make love.” Not that that worried me. By then I’d already taken a lover – not so much a lover as a new way of life. But Erwin said it didn’t matter whether you were fat or thin. If you were fat you’d just find a new position.’

‘The fat man’s position!’

‘Exactly. And he got this – this manual. All the positions were listed, with little diagrams and arrows. Arrows! It was like fitting a plug, an electrical manual for beginners. “Here,” he said, “I think that one would suit us.” They all had names – I forget what that one was, but it was the fat man’s position. Can you imagine?’

‘Mine had manuals. Well, he called them manuals. They were Swedish I think. You must have seen them. Interesting and disgusting at the same time.

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