The Circle of Nine by Cherry Gilchrist

The Circle of Nine by Cherry Gilchrist

Author:Cherry Gilchrist
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633410749
Publisher: Red Wheel Weiser


BELIEF AND EMOTION

Our sense of justice is closely linked to strong personal emotions that accompany our deepest convictions. A woman in the grip of a conviction is likely to carry more emotional power than a man. She may convince others through her utter sincerity, but she may also be attacked, because her emotional position exposes her. Men, of course, have equally strong beliefs and values, but they are, on the whole, less attached to the form that these take and more willing to modify them. Men can play with ideas; women become them.

Women may be reluctant to reveal strongly held personal beliefs because it exposes them to potential scorn or conflict. Operating by consent is the norm of a women's group, whereas a gathering of men will naturally compete and spar with one another. A group of women who do not know each other very well may keep quiet about their cherished beliefs, until a level of trust has been built up. It can lead to a lack of courage, however, when we don't open up our ideas to debate, held back by lack of assurance that they will meet with general approval. In mixed groups, we may complain that men's views hold sway, and we may not look for a realistic way of advancing our own.

Another reason women withhold their opinions and beliefs may be that they are often a mix of reason and emotion—and justifiably so. But the fear may prevail—again, justifiably so—that cool reason will cut them down by applying only harsh logic and ignoring the emotional element. Discussions of closely held beliefs that don't take into account their compassionate, imaginative, and intuitive content can end with pain and withdrawal on a woman's part. However, we can and should look for ways to discuss these opinions that allow for these factors. And we must learn to stand up to verbal bullying if it occurs. The emotional framework that encloses a network of beliefs is important, because it is the source of a passionate caring about life. It is a fuel that can be ignited to give impetus to our missions and quests. If it can be liberated from the tyranny of self-protection, we will be able to get our message across better, at least on some occasions. On others, we can train ourselves to withdraw gracefully and not take the defeat too personally.



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