The Castle Keeps by Andrew J. Offutt

Author:Andrew J. Offutt [Offutt, Andrew J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Sci Fi & Fantasy
Publisher: Magnum Books
Published: 1978-01-06T12:54:14.404000+00:00

Chapter Ten

’To begin with,’ Helen Caudill said, or rather read from the piece of paper notably quivering in her hand, ‘I cannot comment on the totally ridiculous dialog in the commercial presentation under study. That of course was designed to sell the product, and we were witnessing a clearly defined commercial. The rule is that ancient one applied to fantasy: one must first accept the premise, which is that people on the street attempt to persuade one another to use this or that product In so doing, they employ the language of Madison Avenue.

’The dialog was clearly in full accord with the Dramatic License in Advertisements and Commercial Presentations Act.’

She looked up, wetting her lips in a clever attempt to call attention away from her hands, slipping the first sheet of paper under the others. She’d picked that up from her Tellyschool teachers.

‘We were shown a large and heterogeneous group of people, all walking along the street of an obviously large city. I submit, to begin with, that they would not all have looked so glamorous, nor would they have appeared so happy. It just…it just isn’t that way. Next we focused on a young woman. Her attire was totally unbelievable. She was wearing a very tight sweater. No one would go out that way. No one would dare, not even right in the middle of the downtown island, in the business district She was attracting too much attention to herself, and that is dangerous. As Desmond Morris once wrote, “Why refrigerate a room and then light a fire in it?” ’

‘Honey - does that really fit, right there?’ Phoebe Caudill was frowning.

Helen put her head on one side with a little smile. ‘Well…it’s a good place for a quotation, and it almost fits. Morris was talking about his, in his time, women covered the bosom for reasons they thought of as “moral” or “religious,” but then called attention to the concealed bosom by wearing - under the concealing clothing - a brassiere that exaggerated their shape.’

‘Wellll…if you think you need a quotation in there…I think you’re doing fine, baby.’

Ross Caudill nodded, indulging in that sublimely ridiculous paternal affliction known as beaming.

Helen smiled, looked a bit shy, just a bit, and then started to resume her reading.

There was a thunderous explosion and both Helen and her mother clutched their breasts; Helen squeaked. Ross cursed. ‘Bastards. Busting the damned sound barrier, that’s all they think about. The screens blot out the jets…but DAMN those supersonic planes! ’

After a moment, Helen, her heart still pounding, continued. ’The Feps arrived—’

‘Shouldn’t you be more formal, sweetheart?’

. Helen considered, then nodded. ’The Federal Policemen arrived awfully fast, but I guess that could happen. Hm. The Federal Policemen reached the scene with incredible rapidity, but that is probably possible in some circumstances.’ She looked up questioningly.

’Oh, beautiful,’ her mother said.

‘But - then came the physician, bending at once over the young woman. A doctor, a physician, stopping unbidden to help someone? Now I must admit that that is merely silly.

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