The Book And The Brotherhood by Iris Murdoch

Author:Iris Murdoch
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: prose_contemporary

' There is nothing.'

After a moment's silence Rose said, 'Will he come straight back after he leaves?'

‘Will who come straight back after he leaves where?'

‘Will Crimond come straight back here when he leaves Gerard?`

`Is he with Gerard?'

‘Yes! Didn't you know?'

‘He doesn't always say where he's going. said Jean, 'I don't ask. I don't know whether he'll come strait back.'

‘You don't seem to know much about him.'

‘I don't know everything about him.'

Jean, her hands on her knees, sat starinq at Rose, waiting for the next question, as in an interrogation.

'Does Crimond shoot at that target?'

'He used to.'

'I remember he was a marksman, he won some prize. I hope he’s not preparing for a revolution.'

‘I think he's amusing himself.'

‘What do you do?'

‘What do you mean?'

`l mean both of you, what do you do all day, do you stay here, do you travel, do you entertain, do you visit people, do you go to concerts, are you happy?'

‘We’re mostly here,' said Jean, 'we don't "entertain", people sometimes come.'

‘Do you discuss his work?'

‘We discuss all sorts of things, but if you mean the book., no, not that.’

‘The book really exists?'

`Of course. It's over there. You can look at it if you like.'

Rose looked toward the desk, where the lamp showed a pile of different-coloured notebooks, one open. She felt a superstitious aversion to looking at the book. 'No, thank you -'

`You imagine I'm unhappy, perhaps you hope I'm unhappy.'

`No,' said Rose, 'I just thought you might be bored.' She had begun to feel they were talking in their sleep, not communicating at all, wasting precious time. Now Jean frown and the atmosphere became tenser and more alert. Rose went on, in the new tension and sense of closeness, to say something which she had resolved to say, felt she must say, even rehearsed. 'Duncan loves you. He wants you back. We all love you, we miss you. I wish you'd come back.'

Jean seemed to reflect on these words but replied only. I’m sorry to disappoint you all, I'm not bored and I'm not unhappy. I have never been more completely happy in my life. If you want a message to carry back, there it is.'

`You left Crimond last time, there must have been reason. ‘

`I have a kind of happiness which I think you've never known or dreamt of.’

`Have you forgotten your love for Duncan? You did love him, surely you do love him?'

`Last time was different. I wasn't then able to conceive of a complete removal of my being, a complete change. I've groom into that ability in the time between. It's a meeting with an absolute. When you can see what is perfect, what is imperfect falls away, it withers. Now, it's face to face, not in a glass darkly. One cannot dispute, one cannot resist.'

`And apparently one cannot explain.'

`One cannot explain.'

`Forgive me,' said Rose, 'I wanted so much to talk to you, and there's so little time, I'm saying a lot of things very badly. I must go before Crimond comes back.

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