The Big 100: The New World of Super-Aging by William J. Kole

Author:William J. Kole [Kole, William J.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
Publisher: Diversion Books
Published: 2023-10-03T04:00:00+00:00

As we age, our emotional resilience—that enigmatic X factor that’s helped Holocaust survivors go on to reclaim their lives, and those who’ve overcome earthquakes or even physical and emotional abuse to rebuild theirs—is something we can tap to handle whatever challenges a 100-year life may throw at us.

Dr. Laura Carstensen, director of the Stanford Center on Longevity, led a study that examined the well-being of older people during the COVID-19 pandemic. The scourge, of course, exacted a terrible toll among the elderly—far and away its most frequent and numerous victims. “We found that older people reported fewer negative emotions in their lives, and more positive emotions, than younger people did,” Carstensen tells NPR’s On Point. “It isn’t the fact that there aren’t older people who are struggling emotionally, but there are many fewer of them struggling emotionally than young people.” It’s even more nuanced than that: “Older people have more mixed emotions. They’re more likely to experience joy with a tear in the eye than younger people are. We see a kind of a savoring and an appreciation—that’s what captures the emotional experience. It is not a uniform, simplistic happy.” Carstensen elaborates:

Older people are affected by terrible things, just as younger people are. But they come to that with experience, and they come to that with a perspective. And if I may say just a word about both, the experience that comes with age allows us to know that bad times pass. There’s a sense when something negative happens that you’ve been here before, and that this time will pass. There’s another change that occurs with age and that’s that we become increasingly aware of our own fragility.

We become aware of our own mortality as friends and loved ones die, as we recognize that life doesn’t go on forever. And if there’s a paradox of aging, it’s that when we recognize the limitations on life, rather than become anxious and depressed, we savor them. We know that bad times pass and we know that good times do, too. And so, the good times are savored. . . . And we have a kind of a strength that is difficult to achieve in a very short life. We have a strength of social connections and experience that allows us to brace during very, very difficult times.

Perls, too, has found centenarians to be inspiringly positive. Most of those who live to 100 or longer tend to have a good handle on stress, and they’re agreeable and optimistic. (Much more on the relationship between positivity and extreme longevity in the last chapter.)

There’s one segment of the population that’s especially susceptible to loneliness, and it’s both growing and aging: LGBTQ+ seniors.

Older Americans who identify as nonbinary, especially those living in rural areas, are discriminated against in multiple ways, says the National Resource Center on LGBTQ+ Aging, the only organization of its kind in the United States that focuses specifically on improving the quality of services and support offered to lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer older adults, their families, and their caregivers.

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