The Barbie Chronicles by Yona Zeldis McDonough

The Barbie Chronicles by Yona Zeldis McDonough

Author:Yona Zeldis McDonough
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: 1999-07-15T00:00:00+00:00


MY MENTOR, B ARSIE

Susan Shapiro

Instead of throwing Barbie a thirty-fifth birthday party, feminists have been dissing the popular, petite plaything. Yet far from being a bad role model, Barbie could be a modern girl’s dream mentor. OK, so she does have the equivalent of a sixteen-inch waist. Over the years, I still learned some very important life lessons from Barbie.

1. Family Is Fundamental: Barbie’s my age and, as the long-awaited only girl in a suburban clan of boys, I was Mattel’s dream customer. I had sixty-eight Barbies who shared a pink plastic convertible car and split-level condominium, along with twelve Little Kiddies and twenty-eight Dawn dolls so tiny that instead of changing their clothes I just switched their heads.

2. Many Girls Have the Same Name: There were six Susans in my second-grade class, which caused two of them, on the first day of school, to run home crying. Not me—I’d spent my formative years with Talking Barbie, Tropical Barbie, Color Magic Barbie, Twist ’n Turn Barbie, Living Barbie, and three Malibu Barbies, which taught me that individuality was determined not by your name but by what special activities you did best.

3. A Shortage of Men Won’t Ruin the Party: Whether it was an elaborate prom spread out on the pink carpet or a Barbie beach holiday (where I locked myself in the bathroom and hurled them headfirst into the sink), the guest list always read: redheaded Barbie, Malibu Barbie triplets, cousin Francie, Scooter, Skipper, Casey, Christie, Julia, Stacey (visiting from England), Midge, Dawn, Angie, Twiggy, Ken. I heard there was a Ricky, but I could never find him. I did steal my brother’s G.I. Joe. But since my father was a doctor, G.I. Joe became an army surgeon who returned from a long day at the base hospital screaming: “I just saved nine people from fatal heart attacks and you expect me to go to a party later? Don’t you women know I’m exhausted?” Thus I realized, way back then, that women have superior social etiquette and most important galas do not require the attendance of guys.

4. Alternative Lifestyles Are Acceptable: In a doll domain with ninety-six eligible females and Ken, unusual pairings were common. Sometimes Skipper and Scooter slept in the guest room shoe box with Casey. One night I found the Malibu Barbie trio in my desk drawer on top of cousin Francie. It was OK by me—as long as they followed one rule: Everyone shares clothes. And since afternoon teas and disco dances were hard to attend if you had a child to look after, each Little Kiddie was assigned nine mothers, who rotated child-care responsibilities.

5. It’s Cool to Have Many Careers: At different stages, Barbie was a ballerina, torch singer, equestrienne, majorette, stewardess, astronaut with pink space-pants outfit, nurse, doctor, and fashion model, which paved the way for my subsequent employment as receptionist, poet, secretary, paperback-book critic, waitress, and part-time teacher.

6. You Can Have Love and Work at the Same Time: Throughout Barbie’s professional soul-searching, Ken was a constant.



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