The Art of Snag by Zack Hample

Author:Zack Hample [Hample, Zack]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-101-91091-7
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2014-10-13T16:00:00+00:00

TAILOR YOUR REQUEST TO THE SITUATION

When you first enter the stadium, you probably won’t need to be too creative when asking for a ball. You might not even need to say anything. In some cases, simply pounding your glove and holding it up (as if you’re giving a target) will do the trick. But when it’s crowded and noisy, or if you’re dealing with a player who’s ignoring everyone, you’ll need to find some way, however silly or offbeat, to get inside his head.

In the mid-1990s, it was nearly impossible to get a ball from the Astros. For whatever reason, the entire team was unbelievably stingy, so one day, when all the pitchers headed toward left field to play catch, I called out to reliever Todd Jones and asked, “Is there any possible way to get a ball from you guys? What would it possibly take to make that happen?”

“I’ve never been asked like that before,” he said. “You know what? Just for that, I’m gonna get you one.”

Years later, I found myself trying unsuccessfully to convince the Dodgers’ equipment manager to spare one of the hundred or so balls that he was slowly transferring to a zippered bag after BP. I figured that because of his relatively low rank with the team, he probably wasn’t supposed to give balls away, and because of his job description, he was hyperaware of their condition—so I came up with a request that covered everything.

“There’s gotta be a really dirty ball in there,” I finally said. “I don’t want a new one. I want the ugliest ball you got. I want the ugliest ball you’ve ever seen. There’s gotta be a ball so ugly that it’s a disgrace to the entire Los Angeles Dodgers organization, and it would be my pleasure to take it off your hands.”

The guy fought back a smile and eventually flipped a ball to me—proof that anyone can be cracked.

Here are some other ways to tailor your request to the situation:

• Shhhhh!!!—Ask more politely when it’s quiet. Begin by saying, “Excuse me,” and follow it with a question like, “Is there any chance that you could throw me the ball, please?” If the player doesn’t look up, don’t repeat your entire request. Wait a few moments and then just say his name.

• Keep talking—If it’s crowded and the player is standing nearby, don’t yell his name and wait for him to look up. Everyone will be shouting at him for different reasons. The autograph collectors will want him to sign. People with cameras will want him to pose. Someone might even be trying to get his phone number, so be loud and make your entire request at once.* He’ll hear you.

• Long distance—When a player is standing far away from you, try yelling, “Let’s see the gun!” or simply, “Reach me!” (Remember to personalize your request by using his first name.)

• Age factor—If you’re with a kid, make sure the players know it. Shout, “How ’bout a ball for this young man right here?” or, “This little girl would really love to have a baseball.

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