The Apple Family by Nelson Richard

Author:Nelson, Richard [Nelson, Richard]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781559367752
Publisher: Perseus Books, LLC

Barbara and Benjamin

A short time later. Barbara still sits at the table, her back to the kitchen door.

From the kitchen comes Richard, followed by his sisters. He is gesturing to them not to make a noise. He is “tiptoeing.” Jane goes around the table so she will be able to see Barbara’s face.

Richard approaches Barbara from behind. As he grabs her shoulder:

RICHARD: I need your vote!!

(Barbara screams.)

BARBARA: What?!! (She is shaken)

JANE (Trying to calm her): It’s Richard.

MARIAN (Over this): Richard’s here early.

BARBARA (Over this, gasping for breath, to Richard, very upset): What? Oh, fuck you! Fuck you, Richard! Jesus Christ.

RICHARD: What did I do?

BARBARA: Don’t you ever do that to me!

MARIAN: I told him you weren’t going to like it.

JANE (To Barbara): I told him too.

RICHARD: I’m sorry. (To Jane) You thought it would be—

BARBARA (To Richard): Fuck you. What the hell are you doing? You scared the hell out of me.

RICHARD: I didn’t mean—

JANE (To Richard): What were you thinking?

RICHARD: I—

BARBARA: For Christ sake! (Calming a little) It’s five in the morning. You’re not supposed to be—

RICHARD: I know. I came early. Was that wrong?

BARBARA (Over the end of this): It’s not time to take Benjamin yet. They’re not ready for him—

MARIAN (Over the end of this): I told him not to. Jane thought it’d be funny.

RICHARD: I didn’t think I’d scare you that much.

BARBARA (Takes a big deep breath): My god . . . Jesus. So—how are you Richard? Welcome home.

RICHARD: I’m fine. Nice to be here. Nice to be welcomed with open arms.

BARBARA: It’s like five in the morning.

RICHARD: I know. I’m sorry, Barbara. Get over it. Nice to see you too.

BARBARA: Now you’re pissed at me?? (To their sisters) That doesn’t seem fair. Does it?

(Neither wants to answer that.)

What are you doing here?

RICHARD: You asked me to come as soon as I got back—

BARBARA: I mean right now. At five in the fucking morning.

RICHARD: Language, Barbara.

JANE (Over this): He said he’s jet-lagged. (To Richard) She’s a little on edge.

BARBARA: I’m not—“on edge.” Let’s start again. Welcome home, Richard. We’ve been waiting for you.

(They hug.

Then:)

RICHARD: By the way, I haven’t had breakfast.

JANE: Who are you saying this to?

MARIAN: There’s the kitchen.

RICHARD: Come on, I’ve been staying in a hotel for two months, I’ve gotten used to someone making me breakfast.

MARIAN: Is he serious?

JANE: And what does your wife say about that?

RICHARD: I haven’t told her yet. (Then) I’m joking. It was a joke.

MARIAN: No, you’re not. He’s not.

JANE: No.

RICHARD: I can get my own breakfast. I assume that’s all right? I’ll get it. I’m sorry I’m early, Barbara. And I’m sorry I made a joke. I just woke up. Pamela rolled over and took one look at me and said—go to your sisters. They can’t wait to see you. (Smiling) I guess she was wrong.

(He laughs. No response to that.)

MARIAN (To Jane): It wasn’t a joke.

RICHARD: I’d thought I’d wait in the car. I wasn’t going to wake you. But the lights were on.

BARBARA: Everybody’s up.

RICHARD: I can see that.

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