Tempt Me Tonight by Natasha Washington

Author:Natasha Washington
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Natasha Washington

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

[Taj]

* * *

Taj met Xander in front of the MGM Grand. They took a cab back to the Bellagio. The whole time, Taj said nothing. Words seemed inaccessible to him. He felt like the world was closing up around him. Xander kept shooting him concerned looks, and at one point, he reached out and clasped Taj’s wrist in his, then his hand. That simple, sweet gesture made Taj shake. He let Xander hold his hand until they got back to the hotel, and it grounded him.

Maybe she will be okay, Taj thought. Maybe this is the one time she will be okay.

It did not seem likely.

The message Taj’s mother had left on his phone had been short but rambling. She sounded like she’d been drinking, but he knew that was unlikely. She didn’t often drink, but she might have taken some pills. He couldn’t remember what he had left in the house—sometimes his mother hid medication from him, too, anti-anxiety meds or sleeping pills that her doctor gave out like candy. Taj was constantly conflicted about her doctors, whom he often distrusted, but wanted her to keep seeing them. The medications did help her, even if she thought otherwise. When she was on them, she was more stable and less likely to fall into the kind of paralyzing depressions that made her want to stay in bed for weeks. The problem was that they also took away her manic periods, and he knew his mother missed those when they were gone. They make me feel alive, querido, she’d told him once.

After he’d gotten her message, he had called her back, but she hadn’t answered. Neither had his brother. He’d tried again. And again. And again. Nothing.

He felt like a zombie. Get it together, he thought. He truly needed to—for himself, for Xander.

Taj realized he had somehow lost time because they were now standing outside their rooms. Xander slid his card through the reader and opened his door, but he hadn’t gone inside. Instead, he was standing there, staring at Taj, probably because Taj was frozen and acting like a giant weirdo.

“Taj?” Xander said tentatively. “Can I…can I help you get packed up? Do you need—”

Taj exhaled heavily. He felt dizzy.

He had not been breathing that well. Or often.

Suddenly Xander’s arms were around him, holding him up, then steering him into his room and helping him to the bed. Taj sank down onto it. The bed was made up in a way only hotel room beds ever were, all the corners tight and precise. How did they even do that? It was a skill Taj did not possess.

“Taj?” he heard Xander say. “Breathe with me, okay?”

Xander counted aloud—in for four, hold for five, out for six. They did this several times. The room came back into focus.

What was he doing, though? He didn’t have time for this. Taj needed to get back to LA. He had to make sure his mother was okay. He closed his eyes for a moment. Behind his eyelids, he could see all the ways his mother could have hurt herself.

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