Talk to Yourself Like a Buddhist by Cynthia Kane

Author:Cynthia Kane
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781938289712
Publisher: Hierophant Publishing

Scarcity

As we saw in the previous section, society is constantly sending us messages about who we should be and what we should have in order to be happy. Another message that comes in tandem with these is a concept referred to as scarcity, or the belief that there is only a limited amount of what we want, and as a result we better get ours before someone else does. The belief in scarcity is so prevalent in generating negative judgments and self-talk that I want to dedicate some time to discussing it by itself.

While scarcity may or may not have some practical benefits in terms of understanding macro- and micro-economics, in my view it is entirely unhelpful when it comes to most of what we seek in our individual lives. Specifically, the moment we believe that there isn't enough love, or friendship, or material possessions to go around, we begin to see the world through the lens of comparison and competition. When this happens, our fellow humans become our competitors in our quest for more of what we think we need to be happy.

This belief in scarcity fuels another one of Buddhism's three poisons—greed. As we covered earlier in this book, the three poisons—hate, delusion, and greed—are what the Buddha taught was the source of all human suffering. Implicit in our search for more is the belief that we are not enough as we currently are, and this belief creates the perfect atmospheric conditions for negative self-talk.

Sometimes my clients have trouble seeing scarcity as a fiction. “But it is true,” they tell me, “there isn't enough to go around.” I ask them to look deeper and answer this question: “Have you ever not gotten exactly what you need?”

In other words, while there have been many times in our lives when we didn't get what we wanted, when we look back over the course of our lives, the truth is that most of us have always gotten exactly what we needed, even if we didn't think so at the time.

Regardless of whether you agree with me on that point, I think we can all accept that self-talk that arises from a place of scarcity is based on fear, and when you believe that you aren't enough, or that you won't have enough, then negative self-talk isn't far away. Until we examine any belief we have in scarcity, our negative self-talk keeps reminding us of what and who we aren't and what we don't have.

This is why I often ask my clients, have you had enough of “enough?” In other words, the word “enough” is a red flag for me; anytime I hear myself say that word, it's a cue for me to see if any judgments around my belief in scarcity are arising in the moment. I can then look more deeply and explore what kind of scarcity I'm experiencing—Is it around finances? Love? Beauty? Once I've identified it, I can remind myself of its inherent fallacy.

You see, a fundamental tenet

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