Tainted Love by Debi V. Smith

Author:Debi V. Smith [Smith, Debi V.]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-05-18T04:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

HEART OF GLASS

February 1989

The stands overlooking the Kalaniopu’u pool at Kamehameha Schools in Kapālama had a spectacular view of the Pacific Ocean. The view, as gorgeous as it was, went ignored as Warren and I rooted for Ikaika, carving his lane in a freestyle stroke. We shot to our feet on his last turn. As he surfaced, we pointed to the blocks, shouting, “Go!” We knew he couldn’t see us but we did it along with his teammates who were poolside, something we did every meet. He was ahead of an ‘Iolani swimmer, but only just enough for us to notice. They’d traded leads on each turn. Our shouts increased as we jumped up and down in the stands until Ikaika’s hand touched the wall first. Celebratory whoops ensued as Warren and I hugged, still jumping. It was Ikaika’s final meet and he wanted this win bad. He was still on the fence about continuing competitive swimming in college. He and the other swimmer clasped hands around their thumbs and then hugged over the line float, whispering into each other’s ear before climbing out and waving to the packed stands.

“You ready?” Lance asked as Warren and I waved back to our friend.

I glanced at him, still seated, almost forgetting he was there since he wasn’t cheering or showing any interest in the meet whatsoever. “Get the medley relay still yet.”

He crossed his arms over his chest, his lower lip pushing into a pout.

“You’re the one who insisted on coming with us.” He begged to come with us. He knew Warren and I went to Ikaika’s meets together and then to Zippy’s after to either celebrate or commiserate. He said he wanted to spend time with me even if it was with Warren and Ikaika as well. He spent the beginning of the meet non-stop jabbering, as usual, while I tried to pay attention to the heats and how our team was doing. I tuned him out. I was here for Ikaika, not him. Sometimes I thought he didn’t like silence and had to fill it with his own voice even if he wasn’t talking about anything of substance.

He averted his gaze—his way of ignoring me when he didn’t get what he wanted. I’ve watched him do this with his family, and Paula capitulated rather than set boundaries and hold him accountable. It happened last weekend after he tried to make out with me while we were studying in his living room and I told him I wasn’t a toy for him to play with when only he felt like it. I had a say in it too. He went to the kitchen and within minutes Paula made him an ice cream sundae. She hated me enough that she would always side with him when we disagreed on something. We could argue over the color of the sky and she would agree with him that it was yellow when it’s blue. I made him take me back to Warren’s after he finished that fucking sundae.

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