Surrounded by Vampires by Thomas Erikson

Author:Thomas Erikson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: St. Martin's Publishing Group

You might be wondering why that matters. A good idea is a good idea, regardless of who came up with it, right?

Well. In psychological terms, it makes a huge difference if the suggestion is yours or your friend’s. When you give them an idea that then turns out not to work, it will all be your fault, again. No responsibility will fall on the person who actually needs the change.

For example: I know that it seems to you that nobody wants to hire you. That must be really frustrating. But what would your ideal job be?

Depending on their response, you can encourage them to broaden or narrow their job hunt, consider various businesses to approach, or explore other fields. Rather than giving direct advice, giving specific suggestions, or solving the problem for them, you’ll be helping them realize that they actually have the tools to solve it on their own. Basically, you need to move responsibility for their lives back to where it belongs—with them.

Ask them to summarize what you’ve agreed on and plan their next step.

When some time has passed, reconnect with them and ask how they’re getting on with the plan. It all hinges on your having the energy to involve yourself in this process. Your empathy and encouragement may not bring about immediate change, but they can still make a difference.

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