Stand Out by Goman Carol Kinsey;

Author:Goman, Carol Kinsey;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Kogan Page, Limited
Published: 2020-12-15T00:00:00+00:00

Good Body Language Goes Bad

Imagine this: You have been standing in a power pose with your feet wide apart and your hands on your hips. As you hold this Superman or Wonder Woman posture, you begin to feel your stress level drop and your self-confidence rise. With these positive feelings and erect posture, you walk briskly into a meeting room where you take your place, standing at the head of the conference table. You speak in a direct and assertive way and make broad, sweeping gestures. You send all the signals of a high-status leader.

The only problem is that the meeting you are going to lead is a collaborative event where you need everyone on your team to contribute, and your authoritative I-have-all-the-answers body language is sending the wrong message.

Now imagine that you are going into another meeting, and this time you remember to display your natural empathy and warmth: You smile, speak softly, nod to encourage others, and tilt your head in the universal listening cue that signals giving someone your ear.

Better, right?

Maybe not, if that second meeting is a strategy session with the executive team, where you hope to be perceived as highly confident.

All body language is “good” when it is appropriate for the situation—and “bad” when it isn’t. When it comes to facilitating collaborative meetings, for example, you are more effective when your body language signals are warm and inclusive. So, in the first meeting, smiling, nodding, and head tilts—and even speaking in a softer voice—would have sent positive signals of encouragement and inclusion, as would have sitting instead of standing so everyone would be at an equal height.

But when you wanted to be perceived as assured and confident, a power pose before that meeting could have reminded you to keep your good posture, to speak up early in the conversation with enough volume to be heard clearly, and, when offering suggestions, to keep your head straight (not tilted) in a more symmetrical and authoritative position.

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