Spring Girls by Karen Katchur

Author:Karen Katchur [Katchur, Karen]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781542093248
Publisher: Thomas & Mercer
Published: 2020-06-16T04:00:00+00:00

~Helen Watson, Psy.D.

Patient: Janey Montgomery, ID 27112

Helen watches as Janey enters the office and sits in the chair across from her. She opens her notebook, writes the date and time. Janey wipes her eyes with a tissue, although her eyes are dry. Helen makes a note of it, how Janey doesn’t seem to know when she’s crying and when she’s not.

“Have the reporters been bothering you again?” Helen asks.

Janey shakes her head. “No, no one’s bothered me since the other morning.”

“That’s good, isn’t it?”

Janey nods.

Helen decides to take the session in another direction, since the media doesn’t seem to be Janey’s concern at the moment. “Do you remember the homework assignment I gave you a few weeks ago? I asked you to write down all the things you love about Christian and all the things you don’t love about him.”

“I remember,” Janey says. Her voice sounds stronger than it had in their last session, but Helen hears a falseness to it, a kind of strength Janey does not emanate otherwise.

“We already discussed the things you love about him. They were lovely.”

“Thank you,” Janey says. “They were all true.”

“Why don’t you tell me about the other half of the assignment? Why don’t you tell me about the things you don’t like about him? It’s okay not to like everything about a person, even when they’re your own child. It doesn’t mean you don’t love them.”

Janey plays with the tissue in her hand, folding it, unfolding it. “I didn’t write anything for that part of the assignment. I couldn’t think of anything that I don’t love about him,” she says.

“But I saw that you wrote something down. Why don’t you tell me what it is?” Helen asks.

Janey continues to fold and unfold the tissue. “I should get rid of the rabbit,” she says. “I should find her a better home.” She hesitates before adding, “A safer home. But I don’t want to. I’m being selfish. I’m only thinking of myself and what I want.”

It isn’t unusual for Janey to switch topics, and Helen has learned to go along with it. She understands Janey better with each session. Janey doesn’t like to tackle hard questions head on. She circles around them, talks about something else that on the surface doesn’t appear to be related but in fact is. It’s as though Janey cushions the blow in her own mind before delivering the bomb, a coping mechanism she’s acquired, borne from tragedy.

“And what is it you want from the rabbit?” Helen asks.

“Something to cuddle. To love me back.”

“Who do you think doesn’t love you?”

Janey tears the tissue until there is nothing left but a pile of threads.

When Janey doesn’t reply, Helen says, “Wanting someone to love you back doesn’t sound like someone who is selfish. It’s human nature to love and want to be loved in return.”

“I should’ve seen it coming. I did see it coming. And I still didn’t give the rabbit up.”

“What did you see coming?”

“I told you. He put her on top of the hot stove.

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