Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed Again by Jeremy Greenberg

Author:Jeremy Greenberg
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing
Published: 2019-10-02T20:43:30+00:00

Name: Blue Eyes

Re: Pick that crap up

Dear Silverware,

Let’s make a deal: I’ll lick all of the dried food from you, if you promise not to rattle around and give away my location. The human (that evil woman who lets her kids stick you in their mouths) now wants to make me soaking wet. She saw a video online of a cat lovingly swimming laps in a tub and now thinks I might enjoy some soaking-wet low-impact aerobics. What the human (that evil woman who lets her kids throw you across the room covered in applesauce) doesn’t know is that the cat in the video is a Turkish Van. They’re one of the few cats who like to swim. I’m a Siamese. I’m one of the many cats who likes to howl about how much it sucks to be wet.

So please let me hang out with you, because I don’t want to be near anything that will make me wet.

Just don’t heat dry,

Coco

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