Some Very Short Stories by Kurt Stern

Author:Kurt Stern [Stern, Kurt]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781781489345
Publisher: Grosvenor House Publishing
Published: 2015-10-20T00:00:00+00:00

La Malade Imaginaire

I am dying, I am dying…

No, Martha, you are not dying.

But my pulse is racing and I know my body cannot cope. I am dying.

This was a typical beginning of a day for Martha and her partner Jonas. Martha was absolutely convinced that she was terminally ill although most days with different ailments, not even mentioning her allergies. One day her liver was swollen and hurting, another her kidneys were dysfunctional or the outlet of her stomach was obstructed which was leading her life to a dreadful ending. She was only able to cling on to dear life with the help of all kind of medications; pills to counteract the occlusion of her bowels, drops to stimulate her pancreas, all this apart from painkillers to cope with the horrendous spasms in her system.

Every meal was a nightmare. Between the absolute prohibition of most of the different types of foods available, little was there left to nourish or to be enjoyed. Steroids were consumed like basic food and a record was kept of all and every bodily function. Martha considered herself as a perfect case for analysis and study at any university, very few illnesses were left out of reach for presentation by dear Martha until one day… Jonas, her partner decided that enough was enough and that he was leaving her for a few months to give her sufficient time and space to recover or succumb, which she obviously was not prepared to consider. Where in the world could another body as interesting as Martha’s be traced for the benefit of science? So, once Jonas had left, she contacted a university to offer herself to the world as a perfect specimen for study of any illness, she had them all. What an opportunity for the scientific world. After serious consideration by one or the other professor she was given the choice or to be declared cured or insane and interned for adequate treatment. The result of this state of events was a real first in local medical history or maybe one of these miracles which occur once in a lifetime, a multiple cure within hours and a happy catching up with all the missed opportunities to enjoy every day’s meals to its fullest.

So when Jonas returned from his absence, he found Martha healthy and happy but… fat.

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