Solve Employee Problems Before They Start by Warrick Scott;

Author:Warrick, Scott;
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Society For Human Resource Management
Published: 2019-08-15T00:00:00+00:00

Those are your choices. Whether you have conflict is not your choice: you will have it. How you choose to handle it is the only decision you get to make.

Still, most people simply want to “get along” with everyone else. Instead of communicating information that may be disturbing, which could potentially expose the real conflict at hand, most people simply bury the information and ignore the issue. As a result, the person who needs to hear the information the most never does. Why would we ever do something so terribly cruel? Because we’re nice people—and nice people stink! These are the “Angel Bullies” or “Angel Trolls” of the world. (Again, a “troll” is my term for a bully. Trolls are cute … but they are evil. I am trying to be generous here because, unfortunately, we humans are “hardwired” to be passive-aggressive, or trolls, or bullies. However, if you want relationships in your life, don’t do that!) Everyone talks about how nice Aunt Bee from The Andy Griffith Show is because she takes care of Andy and Opie. She bakes pies. She always does something for her church and community. But whenever there is a problem, she does not address it. Instead, she sits with her friend Clara and talks about everyone else involved. She does not address the issue with the person involved, but instead talks about them behind their back. Aunt Bee was a Retreater. Just like the mythological beasts in Dante Alighieri’s Inferno that occupy the Seventh Circle of Hell (Violence), Retreaters such as Aunt Bee create their own hell when they stab others in the back. In the end, their evil destroys their own relationships because, remembering Red’s wisdom, Retreaters are dumbasses. It is Karma because they do it to themselves. Again, all communication theory is based on the most basic of human reactions: the fight-or-flight response. If given a choice in how to react when confronted with a threat, most people would choose flight rather than fight. Consequently, most humans are Retreaters. Therefore, most people that you know would rather avoid a conflict if at all possible. They are Retreaters.

Unfortunately, that means that most people are liars. They will lie through their teeth and tell you what you want to hear because these nice people follow the “Rules of Leadership,” which are:

Never upset anyone.

Avoid all forms of conflict.

Never address an issue. Ignore it. It will go away.

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