Shiver by Deborah Bladon

Shiver by Deborah Bladon

Author:Deborah Bladon [Bladon, Deborah]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Coming of Age, modern romance, new adult romance, new adult with sex, contemporary romance with sex, Genre Fiction, alpha male, alpha male romance, Contemporary, Bad boy, bad boy romance, Romance, Literature & Fiction
Amazon: B01AVLC910
Publisher: Deborah Bladon
Published: 2016-01-18T18:30:00+00:00


CHAPTER 10

"I've been thinking more about a baby." I set a cup of coffee on the table in front of Alexa. "I think we need to get on the same page. I don't like that we're not."

Her fingers trail over her forehead before she snaps her head up to look at my face. "I know that you're happy with things the way they are."

"How could I not be happy with the family we have?" I sit in the chair next to her, pulling her bare feet into my lap. "We have the most amazing son and daughter in the world."

She moans as I push my thumb into the sole of her right foot. "That feels so good. My feet have been so sore."

I smile knowing that she's working herself as hard as she is. She's on her feet all day at school and once she walks through the door of our apartment, she's busy chasing after our twins. She doesn’t slow down until she's fast asleep next to me.

"I want to understand why you want a baby, Alexa."

"You know why I want one."

I massage her heel, my fingers roaming over the smooth skin. Is it possible for a woman to have perfect feet? If it is, my wife owns them. "You feel a void inside?"

Since we got to Boston yesterday, I realized something pretty substantial. I've been so preoccupied with trying to fill the hole I feel inside of me that's related to my work that I've been ignoring the same bottomless pit that Alexa feels inside of her.

"I feel like there's something I'm missing." She rests her hand on her chest. "I love being a mom. I wouldn't trade it for anything."

"What is it then?"

She pushes her right foot into my palm, stretching her leg out as she does. "You seriously could do this for money, Noah. Women would pay to have your hands on them."

"I'm not going to respond to that." I chuckle deeply. "You're the only woman I want to touch."

"Do you ever think about what our baby would look like?" Her breath staggers. "If we could have had a baby, do you think it would have had your eyes?"

It's a conversation I always avoid. I've never faulted Alexa for not being able to get pregnant. If I had to choose between her and a child born of my blood and bone, I'd choose her every single time, over and over until I take my last breath.

The irony of my job is that I walk into homes where women confess to me that they weren't even sure they wanted their baby but now that they have him or her, they're grateful. They throw those words out like they mean nothing and as I snap frame after frame of the small faces and tiny hands of their newborn children, I wonder why the universe didn't see fit to give my wife a child of her own.

I mourn for the loss she must feel in the knowledge that she'll never carry her own child in her body.



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