SHED Your Stuff, Change Your Life by Julie Morgenstern

Author:Julie Morgenstern
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: A Fireside Book
Published: 2008-07-15T00:00:00+00:00

Script 4: I Don’t Want to Send the Wrong Signal

Whenever you work with other people, it’s easy to become trapped in water cooler conversations that eat away your day and leave you bogged down in nonwork-related details about someone else’s life. Getting out of this role can be particularly delicate when you have developed a genuine friendship with the person who corners you with conversation, or when you feel like you’re the only emotional outlet for someone going through a difficult time. But remember, relationships are best served by honesty. If you cringe each time your colleague heads in your direction, you’re doing a disservice to the relationship by begrudgingly engaging in a tight-lipped conversation at an inappropriate time.

Brenda’s longtime assistant, Roxanne, chatted Brenda’s ear off with personal matters. Aside from her chatterbox tendencies, Roxanne excelled in every other area of her position. Brenda tolerated the daily banter for years but finally felt like she wanted it to stop.

Time lost: 4 hours/week

Her attachment to the role: Brenda genuinely cared about Roxanne and felt invested in her general well-being. She was afraid to appear rude or inconsiderate by cutting these conversations short.

Other people’s attachment to the role: Roxanne counted on sharing her personal stories each morning with her boss. She saw Brenda more as a true friend than as her manager.

Heave solution: Brenda needed to have an honest conversation with Roxanne: Here’s what she said: Roxanne, we have worked together for years and I really enjoy our relationship. It’s rare that you work with someone you can also enjoy on a personal level as well. Lately I’ve been frustrated because I feel overwhelmed by my workload, but I’m also interested in hearing about what’s going on in your life. How about instead of taking time away from our workday (because I know we both have a lot to get done), let’s make a point to go to lunch together or grab a glass of wine after work at least once a week to catch up. That way we won’t feel cheated by having rushed conversations during the middle of the workday. How does that sound?

What else did she do? Brenda also found other appropriate ways to make Roxanne feel appreciated outside of their routine lunches or drink nights. Brenda made sure to check in occasionally on other “life details” (parents’ health, husband, etc.) and always offered to grab Roxanne a coffee (or snack) whenever she ran out.

Time cleared: 4 hours/week

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