Shadows by Lawrence Block

Author:Lawrence Block
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Lawrence Block
Published: 2016-07-20T00:00:00+00:00

For the first time in his life he felt like a male whore. He stood up from the bed and turned away from her, not wanting to look at her, not wanting to see her or think of her. As he pulled on his clothes his skin felt sweaty and grimy.

“Mike?”

He began tying his shoes, fumbling with the laces. It was over now. He had given her just what she paid for and no more, and now he could leave and never come back and not see her again, not ever.

“I’m a bitch.”

For some reason he found it impossible to walk out without looking at her. He turned and saw her lying face down on the bed, stretched out full length, and foolishly naked.

“I’m a bitch and I’m sorry. But it doesn’t make any difference, does it?”

“No.”

“Of course not. I guess we’ve had it. I suppose you’re leaving?”

“Yes.”

“Of course,” she said. “I guess I didn’t have to ask.”

Her voice sounded very tired, flat and exhausted. “I’ll miss you,” she went on. “It sounds silly but I think I really will. Can you believe me?”

“Yes,” he said, not really meaning it, not really caring one way or the other.

“And I’m going back home,” she said. “I think I should.”

“Home?”

“To the Bronx. I guess that’s my home. It’s not that horrible a place, Mike. It’s like any other place. I suppose people always hate the place they come from.

“But it will be good to get back to Parkchester. I don’t really belong here, and my folks are good people. Oh, they’re middle-class and all that, but I’m middle-class too. This is just a game, this Village scene. I guess it’s time to give it up.”

She broke off suddenly and turned on the bed, raising herself on one elbow to stare at him. “I sound like Marjorie Morningstar,” she said. “And I don’t want to. But I can’t help it.”

He didn’t say anything.

“I won’t miss this place,” she said. “I never really lived here. The girl who lives here isn’t really me, Mike. I wish you had had a chance to get to know the real Sandra Cohen. You might have liked her. She’s dull but she’s fairly nice.”

She sat up suddenly. “Don’t go yet,” she said. “Sleep awhile first. Wait until morning.”

“It’s morning already.”

“Sleep anyway. You’re tired, aren’t you? You might as well sleep here.”

He didn’t want to. He wanted to leave, and he took a breath and started for the door.

“Mike—”

He stopped and she said, “Please stay with me. You don’t have to touch me and I’ll sleep on the floor if you want but I don’t want you to leave yet. This is the last night I’ll be staying here, Mike. I don’t want to stay all by myself.”

It wasn’t that much. It was very little to give her, very little indeed, and besides he was tired and there was no place else to go.

“All right, Sandy.”

She smiled, and he saw that her eye-shadow was smeared from crying. He hadn’t heard her cry.

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