Scott's Blog of Doom Presents: The Worst of Wrestling! by Scott Keith

Author:Scott Keith [Keith, Scott]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Television, Wrestling, vl-wrestling, Individual Sports, Humor & Entertainment, Guides & Reviews, Sports & Outdoors
Amazon: B008CMFE9A
Published: 2012-06-18T07:00:00+00:00

- NWA World title: Ric Flair v. Road Warrior Hawk. Who thought THIS was a good idea? I mean, seriously, old-school NWA fans, did you ever buy tickets for a show thinking "Oh, boy, Hawk is challenging for the title, this should be awesome!" That's like trying to promote HHH v. Bubba Dudley for the title! Who would be that stupid? Oh, never mind. Hawk works a headlock to start and no-sells a chop and Flair decides to re-think his strategy. Hawk presses him and Flair takes a powder to reinforce just how painful that was. Back in, Hawk does it again, because when you do a move like that and the guy screams in pain and runs for his life, you might as well do it again. Who says the Warriors were dumb? Hawk stomps a mudhole in the corner and hits him with a standing dropkick and fistdrop. He tosses Flair around, and Ric calls timeout and confers with JJ. Hawk suplexes him back in and pounds away, into the BEARHUG OF DOOM. If Flair was Hulk Hogan, it would be OVER. Man, I wonder if Hogan is ever gonna live down being the only guy in history to submit to a bearhug. Hawk no-sells some chops and shoulderblocks him, as JR declares that "Flair is as limp as a dishrag". That's not what the women who ride Space Mountain would say! Whoo! Sorry, just to retort on Flair's behalf there. They head outside and Hawk tosses the balsawood steps at Flair with blatant disregard for the splinters it might cause, but when they head back in Flair goes low to take over. Speaking of limp as a dishrag. Flair goes to the eyes to keep up his image as a total pussy (Thanks, Big Dust!) and drops the knee. That gets two. They head out and Hawk meets the railing a few times, and STILL won't sell! Oh, wait, he's taking a few deep breaths and acting mildly distracted, that's practically a crippling injury for the Warriors. Back in, Flair drops another knee for two. Hawk suddenly comes back with a neckbreaker, and Flair starts convulsing in pain. You see the difference selling makes? Hawk misses a fistdrop and sells the knee. Explain THAT one, kids. Flair goes after the knee anyway, and when Ellering protests to the ref Flair gives the most blatant ballshot humanly possible to Hawk, nearly doing a dance afterwards like Leslie Nielsen as the umpire, in the Naked Gun. Flair wraps Hawk's knee around the post and WHOO! NOW! WE GO TO SCHOOL! Figure-four time, kids, and the ropes get involved, whether they want to or not. It's not like they were doing anything pressing anyway. Hawk reverses, but Flair makes the ropes. You know what a cool bit of psychology would be? Wrestling someone who has a bad knee, and letting them think that they're injuring YOUR knee, until you sucker them into putting a figure-four on you. But since their knee is more injured than yours, you reverse the hold and get the submission.

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