Scott's Blog of Doom Presents: The Complete WWE 2003 by Scott Keith

Author:Scott Keith [Keith, Scott]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Television, Wrestling, vl-wrestling, Individual Sports, Humor & Entertainment, Guides & Reviews, Sports & Outdoors
Amazon: B0093EGBB6
Published: 2012-08-28T07:00:00+00:00

- The second part of the Triathlon is the “pie-eating contest”, and since they not only can’t book a segment without throwing some juvenile double-entendre into it, but are also incapable of booking a segment without doing a bait-and-switch (visions of a 400-pound woman were dancing in our heads) we get Mae Young as Steve Austin’s hand-picked pie for Bischoff. You’d think they’d realize that the joke got old in 1999 (along with much of the people in the main event now) but just in case we don’t get that Bischoff is an EVIL BASTARD who dared raid the talents of Vince McMahon, Last Independent Spirit In Wrestling, he gets to not only make out with the decrepit old woman, but gets to endure a broncobuster from her as well. Which is apropos, because the entire segment was roughly akin to having…no, sorry, I can’t even use it as a metaphor without throwing up. I mean, really, who besides Vince McMahon can possibly find this entertaining and a better use of 10 minutes than, say, WRESTLING? How would you feel if you’re Ivory and Jazz and the agents were like “Sorry, girls, we had you penciled in for 10 minutes, but it turns out we need the time to do a skit that features Eric Bischoff being forced to perform cunnilingus on a 90-year old woman. But I think we can fit you in if the dwarf-tossing finals go short.” And even worse, although you’d think that two brutally stupid segments that add nothing to the show would be enough to convince the higher-ups that Kevin Dunn is a retard who should skip the middle-man and start producing “One Life to Live” instead of wrestling and thus save everyone the trouble of having his “vision” of what the sport should be forced on an unwilling audience every two months because he gets a bright idea about a worked burping contest on a $35 PPV while sitting on the toilet and reading Soap Opera Digest, there’s still ANOTHER one coming. And speaking of non-wrestling segments…

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