Save Karyn by Karyn Bosnak

Author:Karyn Bosnak [Bosnak, Karyn]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9780061997068
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks
Published: 2010-01-08T05:00:00+00:00

LATER THAT AFTERNOON, as I was going over my next show with Alexandra, the supervising producer, she asked me if I was feeling better.

“Yeah,” I said. And then it happened again. I broke into tears.

“Oh no. Not another one,” she said.

“Huh?” I asked, confused.

“You’re the second producer to cry in my office today,” she said.

“I’m sorry,” I said, wiping the tears from my face.

“Don’t be sorry. I know how you feel. You are frustrated and tired. I feel the same way.”

I confided to Alexandra about how much I hated my job, and she just listened and listened. She seemed to understand where I was coming from. I told her what my doctor said and explained how irritated I was by his insensitivity.

“You know, Karyn, as sad as it was that he was so insensitive, he did have a point. This is just a job.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said. But just like I didn’t tell my doctor, I also didn’t tell Alexandra why it was so difficult for me to just walk out the door.

“What you need to do is go home. You need to regroup,” she said. “You are a very good producer. You care a lot about what you do. The problem is that you might care too much. You need balance in your life.” She was right. I did care too much. But I only cared too much because I needed the job—more importantly the big paycheck that came along with the job—because I needed to pay off my bills.

“You need to have control over all the areas in your life. When you put everything you have into just one area, like your job, for example, then you jeopardize the rest of you. Your body breaks down, you break into tears for no reason—these are all signs that something is out of whack.” I kept listening.

“What you need to do is become the CEO of your own life. Pretend that ‘Karyn’ is a business, a company. There’s the personal department, there’s a love department, there’s a family department, and there’s a professional department. And know that if any of these areas are out of whack, then all the other areas won’t be able to function properly either, and the whole business will go under.”

She was right. I had been completely avoiding my credit card bills for the past month because I needed to concentrate on working so I could pay off those bills—which was why I was taking my job so seriously. And in taking my job so seriously, I’d started to ignore my health, my personal life—everything. I needed to gain control.

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