Saint by Kirkham A.G

Author:Kirkham, A.G [Kirkham, A.G]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2021-08-24T05:00:00+00:00

Saint

Another message appears on the phone, this one from Orion. Call me now, he writes, and I see the three dots appear, so I know he’s not done. Please, he adds. Which means he’s freaked for me. Orion never says please. Well, rarely.

So far, I’ve accumulated twenty-eight, nope, make that twenty-nine texts and seven voicemails. Five from Izzy, begging me to come home, taking the blame for my outburst, saying she’ll never do it again. My Izzy, crying for me. Taking the blame for my actions. Jesus, it’s just another knife in the gut.

Risk’s message says that talking it out is the way to go. We’ve done it before; we’ll do it again. I know he’s right, but I can’t get there yet. When I hit my bike, I had no idea where to go, and somehow, I ended up here, at the cemetery. I’m messed up. I don’t even have anyone buried here.

Orion does, Demon too, even Guard, but not me. And here I sit, with my back against Calian’s tombstone, head in my hands, trying to make sense of what happened. Izzy and I have been solid. No fighting or disagreements. Work’s been busy but good. We broke even this month, and looks like we’ll make a profit for next quarter and the guys will start to get a return on the investment they made into the clinic.

I haven’t had a night like tonight in months. One minute, I’m in bed with my woman, with her warm and safe in my arms, the next, I have her pinned to the bed with my hand around her throat. I could have killed her. I was so disgusted with myself, I had to get out of there. Izzy went from terrified to confused, and when she called my name, it tore at my insides.

“I see that he led you to him.” Guard is standing a few feet away, indicating the tombstone. Calian was his, or more appropriately, Guard was Calian’s. His surrogate father, the man who guided him into the man he has become.

“Don’t know how I got here.” I look up at Guard. “I can’t figure out what the hell happened.”

“Sneaks up on you, tries to take control. You won’t let it, Saint,” he says with determination. “Izzy’s a mess. You have to make that right.”

“How can I do that?” I ask, and keep going, not waiting for his answer. “I had her by the throat. What if I choked her to death? How can she look at me again and feel safe?” I choke back a sob of frustration. I love her, and I almost killed her.

Guard comes down to my level, wrapping a hand behind my head, allowing me to let out my fears. All the while, I’m sobbing. “I’m weak,” I cry.

“You’re real. A real man, with a past that encroaches on your present. You’re not the only one. You know this. Risk and Orion fight this too,” he reminds me.

“Neither of them grabbed the woman they love by the throat.

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