Rules of Engagement by Mika Jolie

Author:Mika Jolie [Jolie, Mika]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-01-25T05:00:00+00:00

20

“Rules are arbitrary mindfucks.”

As the taxi weaves in and out of traffic through Manhattan, my belly churns with nerves. In a few minutes, we’ll be dining with my parents.

Kate and I are sitting side by side as we summarize the finite details of our relationship. I feel like a bit of an asshole. One side of me is draped with guilt, the other side that wants everything Kate is enjoying discovering the little things about her I never knew.

Things I already knew about Kate . . .

She likes her martinis straight up.

She wears mismatched socks on purpose. It’s so fucking adorable.

Romantic dramas full of heartache and strife don’t elicit a single tear, but Wall-E gets her crying.

Her favorite movie is Say Anything, an 80’s classic she’s watched many times with her mother and often references it to make a point.

She’s not a morning person until caffeine has been injected into her veins.

Things I didn’t know about Kate until tonight . . .

She meticulously indexes all of her 90’s and one-hit-wonder songs in iTunes, including artist, full song title, album cover art, song lyrics, songwriter, genre, year released and on and on.

Her underwear and bras don’t always have to match.

She wrote her inner child a love note.

She sleeps in shorts and a tank.

She has more than two dozen different lotions from LUSH, scents ranging from orange and patchouli bliss, yummy vanilla banana custard, to Karma.

She has a porn habit. I can’t wait to watch porn with her.

Things Kate has always known about me . . .

I graduated top of my business class at Wharton.

I’m an early riser by nature.

I have a black belt in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and have competed in a few tournaments in Brazil.

I’m a certified Master scuba diver.

My father is Mexican. My mother is a beautiful combination of Native American and Irish.

Things Kate learned about me tonight . . .

I sleep naked when Emma isn’t around.

What Kate has yet to learn about me . . .

Lately, she’s the one who has been replacing my porn habit.

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