Rude Stories by Jan Andrews

Author:Jan Andrews [Andrews, Jan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-77049-092-5
Publisher: Tundra
Published: 2010-10-12T04:00:00+00:00

Nag, nag, nag. I don’t think Bella really wanted help even. She just liked gloating. The day came when Ella found she was dreading mealtime. She was thinking she’d go stark and raving mad if she heard once more about how a puff of wind would blow her away if she didn’t finish the pile of meat and potatoes Bella had heaped on her plate.

“If we could have a contest and I could beat you at something, would you leave me alone?” she asked Bella at last.

“What kind of a contest?” Bella wanted to know.

“A strength kind,” said Ella.

“Eat your broccoli,” said Bella.

“I don’t think broccoli has anything to do with what I’m thinking of,” said Ella.

“And what would you be thinking of?” asked Bella.

“I’m thinking I’m a better belcher,” said Ella.

Bella laughed. She pushed out her chest. She took a deep breath. She let go a good one to show her abilities. The belch that came out of her almost shook the house.

“And when will this contest be?” she demanded.

“Tomorrow,” said Ella. “First thing in the morning, after we’ve done our chores.”

“You’ve no hope,” said Bella. “But I don’t want you to embarrass yourself. I’ll go to the store. I’ll get you some fizzy pop.”

Off she went. She brought back pop by the crate load.

Ella stacked the crates up tidily. She looked at the pop, but she didn’t take even a sip. Bella went down to the basement to practice. Ella sat knitting a shawl.

“You’ll need to be in bed early,” Bella told her sister.

“Why would I need that?” Ella asked.

“So you can get a good rest,” said Bella.

Ella kept on with her knitting. She went to bed at her normal time.

Bella went to bed too. She took some recipe books with her. She checked the ingredients for recipes like sugar pie and devil’s food cake she hadn’t tried on Ella yet.

Won’t be much of a contest. We’ll be done by lunch for certain, Bella thought.

Next morning they were both up early, having their breakfasts, doing the things that needed to be done. Bella added a few push-ups. She did them where Ella would see her.

Ella made herself a cup of tea. She went to sit on the porch steps so she could drink it in peace. Bella came out to her. She had a dozen or so pop bottles under each arm. She set them down where Ella could reach them.

“Is this where the contest’s to be?” Bella asked.

Ella nodded. Bella sat beside her. She let go another one for good measure. The sound of it made Ella’s ears ring. She thought she’d be deaf for a week.

“Are we competing for the loudest belch?” Bella asked.

“No,” said Ella. “We’re not.”

“What are we competing for then?” said Bella.

“We’re competing for the belch that can do the most – the one that has the most power to it,” Ella replied.

Bella wasn’t expecting that answer. Not that she was worried. She wasn’t worried at all. She crooked her right arm. She made her muscles bulge.

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