Restoring Sexual Identity - Hope for Women Who Struggle with Same-Sex Attraction by Anne Paulk

Author:Anne Paulk
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub
Tags: Homosexuality, Homosexual, Psychology, Gay, Lesbian
ISBN: 9780736911795
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Published: 2003-06-30T22:00:00+00:00

Confronting the Abuser

Confrontation with your abuser is not always possible, nor is it always advisable. You should check with your health-care professional before taking this step. If not timed and prepared correctly, it could be emotionally damaging instead of helpful.

One of my friends who was coming out of lesbianism had been molested by her grandfather. Since Leslie was in her mid-thirties and her grandfather had passed away more than a decade earlier, confronting him was impossible. Leslie was traveling home for her mother’s birthday. Before she went, she prepared herself to visit his grave and even wrote a note to him about her feelings of pain and confusion.

One afternoon Leslie drove to the cemetery and read her note aloud to the gravestone as if her grandfather were there. Clearly, he was long gone, but the gravestone stood in his place. There, alone before her abuser’s grave, Leslie was free to cry and express her feelings. She returned home more resolved and able to move on in her life.

Your counselor may encourage you to write a note or letter to the person who hurt you, but not to send it. Instead, take it to your appointment and read it to the counselor, pretending he or she is the offending person.

As Jan Frank so clearly articulates, “Confrontation… enables the victim to take the burden of responsibility and place it in the rightful hands of the aggressor and any co-contributors.” 18

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