Resilience by Linda Graham

Author:Linda Graham [Graham, Linda]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: New World Library
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

Variation 1

The speaker identifies and explores a difficulty they are having with some aspect of their own behavior, perhaps in relation to another person, perhaps more general. The other person listens and repeats as before. The speaker and the listener debrief as before.

Variation 2

The speaker identifies a difficulty they are having with a behavior of the listener. As the speaker, you focus on yourself. As the listener, anchored in your secure base and theory of mind, you listen and repeat as before. The speaker and the listener debrief as before.

The effectiveness of this exercise depends on the absence of shaming or blaming and the practice of listening without fixing or defending, which create a sense of safety. Social engagement can reduce reactivity in the brain. The speaker gets to explore their own experience without having to worry about the reactions of the listener. The listener can listen without taking anything personally. The relational and communication skills developed here form the basis for conversations on negotiating changes in behavior, as addressed in exercise 5-10 below.

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