Record Love by Hayden Hunt

Author:Hayden Hunt [Hunt, Hayden]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Gay & Lesbian, Literature & Fiction, Fiction, Romance, Gay Romance, New Adult & College, Sports, Genre Fiction, Lgbt, Gay, Bisexual Romance, MM, 1056
Amazon: B01KGP7VLO
Goodreads: 31455143
Published: 2016-08-14T04:00:00+00:00

13

Caleb

I’d spent the last few days crying on and off. I’d been a mess since Mason dumped me.

A few times I almost waned to call him back and tell him that I’d already figured things out. That I knew now I wanted to marry him, to be with him forever.

But it would have been a lie.

I didn’t have things figured out. I still couldn’t be sure that I really was going to spend the rest of my life with Mason How did you just know that?

I knew I loved him, deeply. More than I’d ever loved anyone. But for all I knew, that was just because I was with a man for the first time. How could I be sure there weren’t other men I’d love like this?

I loved being with Mason. And I really wasn’t thinking of other men. I wasn’t lying about that at all. But there was this lingering doubt in the back of my mind. If it could be this good with Mason, what if it could be better with someone else?

It wasn’t like I could really picture it being better or anything. It was just that, for the first time in my life, I felt so happy. Six months ago, I was so closed off to the idea of being with a man that I almost let this love slip away. How could I continue to be closed off and believe that nobody else could make me feel that way?

I was still in the middle of recording my first album, but I called out the rest of this week. I couldn’t imagine going into the studio, knowing Mason was there, and not going into his office. I couldn’t see him and hold back from kissing him.

I’d cave if I was in the same building as him. I’d go and try to make things work. I’d pathetically beg him to take me back.

But that would be a mistake. He didn’t want me like this. He didn’t want a man who couldn’t give him a lifelong commitment.

And that was his right. He deserved that kind of commitment. It wasn’t fair of me to beg for him if I couldn’t give him what he needed.

I was so fucking torn. I felt like I was at this revolutionary point in my life. I was realizing who I was, for the first time. I was actually reflecting on my life. I actually saw possibilities for the way my life could go. And those possibilities felt endless.

But what if they weren’t? What if it wasn’t even men that I loved, but Mason only? He might really have been the only one out there for me. He might have been my truest form of happiness. I could be throwing all that away, just for the possibility of something more.

This was so fucking stupid. I held a little resentment against Mason for doing this. Like, no, I couldn’t marry him right now. But if he had just waited, I probably would have in a few years! I probably never would have thought of exploring other relationships myself.

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