Radical Generosity by M. J. Ryan

Author:M. J. Ryan
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9781633410985
Publisher: Red Wheel Weiser

You Never Know What the Effects of Your Actions Will Be

“Let me light the lamp,” says the star,

“And never debate if it will help to remove the darkness.”

—RABINDRANATH TAGORE

My mother has a niece whom she loves very much. This niece has four sons and a life that doesn't allow for many extras. So when the boys were young, my mother, who lives on Cape Cod, used to invite them down each summer for a vacation. One year, she decided to pay for sailing lessons for Mike, one of the sons who expressed interest in learning to sail. She knew her niece couldn't afford it on her own. Mike is now in his twenties, and he makes a living sailing around the world. Inadvertently, my mother helped Mike discover his passion and his profession!

My mother's story reminded me that we can never know what the effects of our actions will be. All we can do is live from our hearts and trust that the goodness we do will ripple out into the world. We can't get too attached to a particular outcome. By paying for the sailing lessons, my mother wasn't trying to turn Mike into a sailor, she just was offering him a chance to sail.

Buddhist teacher Jack Kornfield has a story about the problems with having strings attached to our giving. Kornfield was a young monk in Asia, where beggars abound. He would go back and forth to the temple to meditate, passing the beggars every day. Finally, he was about to leave the area and, filled with compassion, he decided to take what money he could afford, have it changed into many bills of small denominations, and, looking each person in the eyes and bowing respectfully, hand over the money. It was to be an offering of respect as well as money, done mindfully to each person.

He walked up to the first beggar and all went according to plan. He looked deeply into his eyes, he bowed, he carefully handed over the money. As soon as the other beggars saw the money, they immediately began to mob him. All sense of ceremony was lost as they scrambled for the cash. He ended up throwing all the money into the air and running like hell!

We give because we want to give. We don't give so it will turn out a certain way, or because we will get thanked. We give because we want to experience the joy that comes from offering whatever it is that is ours to offer. In the words of T. S. Eliot, “For us, there is only the trying. The rest is not our business.”

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