Protect Me: Josh & Charlie #2 by Claire Raye

Author:Claire Raye [Raye, Claire]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Claire Raye
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

It’s been three days since my scan. The longest three days of my life, but I’m sure for Josh they’ve been even longer. Something is definitely up with him, something other than stressing about me being sick. He’s distant and distracted, but still somehow constantly attending to whatever I need. It’s all very weird.

Mila and I are packing up our old apartment while Josh and Adam are doing theirs, preparing for us to move into our new rental house this weekend. My parents, Mila’s parents, and Adam and Josh’s have all sent us some money to hire a moving company to cut down on us having to do too much. Although I think I could handle carrying a few boxes. At times it gets old being the sick girl and having people constantly doing everything for me. It would add a little normalcy to my life to be able to do things for myself again.

Writing the book with my professor has been my anchor, making me feel like I can still do some of the things I used to do. Going to my dojo once a week has helped too even if I can’t spar. It’s a place where I feel in control and where I’m not constantly reminded that I’m sick. Class helps too, despite the stares that still happen on occasion. But what I miss most, more than any of the other normal, everyday things, is having sex with Josh.

Until my blood cell count returns to normal, we’ve been told to avoid it. Not that I have the energy for it, but there are times I do. This scan holds more than just letting me know the chemo is working. With it will come the blood work that I hope shows we might be able to get back to it.

I miss the closeness it holds. I miss the intimacy and love I feel when Josh and I are together. I know he misses it too, even if he doesn’t say it. He wouldn’t dare, worried it might make me feel guilty.

My phone rings and Mila immediately jets into my old bedroom and just the sound of it ringing has my heart racing.

“Answer it,” she prompts, motioning toward my phone as it lies on the bed, lighting up with my doctor’s number. She’s anxious just like me, but what she doesn’t get is that this is far harder for me than it is for her.

I don’t even know if I want her in the room while I take the call. If the news is not what I’m hoping for, seeing Mila’s face all full of hope might cause me to break down and cry on the spot. But to make matters worse, before I can answer, Mila leaves the room, calling across the hall to Josh.

I want to leave it ring, let it go to voicemail and then ignore it again. I want to tell Josh everything is great even if I don’t have any idea if it really is.

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