President Me by Adam Carolla

Author:Adam Carolla
Language: eng
Format: epub, mobi
ISBN: 978006232041
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2014-05-06T16:00:00+00:00

7

THE DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH

AND HUMAN SERVICES

As president, I’m going to get the government out of health care. I know this is going to piss off the Michael Stipes and Michael Moores of the world, but I just don’t think having health care is a right. Health care is a commodity like anything else. I don’t look at it any different than housing; you’ve got to earn it. Somehow we decided health care is something you get cradle to the grave no matter how much, or how little, you’ve contributed to the system. I know that some people on the bottom need our help, but once people figure out that it’s free down there, the bottom all of a sudden starts getting bigger.

I don’t know why I seem to be the only one who understands that when the government provides something for free—whether it’s food, housing, or health care—there is a human cost. The government may be handing you a free block of cheese but they are taking away your motivation to get a job and buy your own fucking cheese. And what more powerful motivator is there to get up, get work, and get insurance than the fact that not having it could literally kill you?

This is the inherent flaw in government-mandated health care. It’s dependent on young people purchasing insurance they’re probably not going to need, in order to fill the coffers for the older people who do. But when I was in my late teens and early twenties, I didn’t have two nickels to rub together and if I did I certainly wasn’t spending them on health insurance. That was beer money. Why do we expect better from the current generation of twentysomethings? Have they demonstrated an abundance of long-term thinking and self-sacrifice? Fuck no. Unless that health insurance comes with a free copy of Grand Theft Auto 5, they’re not interested.

And why do we think for a second that having the government involved will make things better when it comes to health care? Now, I’m not entertaining the paranoid “death panel” ideas that ignite some of those on the far end of the right wing. I think the government is incompetent, not evil.

I’d actually be okay with death panels if I thought the government wouldn’t fuck them up. The reason we’re in such a shitty position when it comes to health care costs is because people are living way too long. I think we have an absurd perspective on death and dying. We want to prolong life forever but never think about the costs. We just hand over our insurance card and think, “Put it on my tab.” We don’t realize what that’s costing the entire system.

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