Pratchett, Terry - Discworld 31 - The Wee Free Men by Pratchett Terry

Author:Pratchett, Terry
Language: eng
Format: epub, pdf
Published: 2007-10-04T21:04:23+00:00

Page

63

Tiffany held the cup perfectly steady, but only because suddenly she couldn't move a muscle. She was thinking: Aaargh! This is not happening to me! I can't- He couldn't- We wouldn't- They're not even- This is ridiculous! Run away!

But she was aware of hundreds of nervous faces in the shadows. How you deal with this is going to be important, said her Second Thoughts.

They're all watching you. And Fion wants to see what you'll do. You really didn't ought to dislike a girl four feet shorter than you, but you do.

'Well, this is very unexpected,' she said, forcing herself to smile. 'A big honour, of course.'

'Aye, aye,' said Rob Anybody, looking at the floor.

'And there's so many of you it'd be so hard to choose,' Tiffany went on, still smiling. And her Second Thoughts said: He's not happy about it either!

'Aye, it will that,' said Rob Anybody.

'I'd just like to have a little fresh air while I think about it,' said Tiffany, and didn't let the smile fade until she was out on the mound again.

She crouched down and peered among the primrose leaves. Toad!' she yelled.

The toad crawled out, chewing something. 'Hm?' it said.

They want to marry me!'

'Mm phmm ffm mm?'

'What are you eating?'

The toad swallowed. 'A very undernourished slug,' it said.

'I said they want to marry me!'

'And?'

'And? Well, just- Just think!'

'Oh, right, yeah, the height thing,' said the toad. 'It might not seem much now, but when you're five feet seven he'll still be six inches high-

'

'Don't laugh at me! I'm the kelda!'

'Well, of course, that's the point, isn't it,' said the toad. 'As far as they're concerned, there's rules. The new kelda marries the warrior of her choice and settles down and has lots and lots of Feegles. It'd be a terrible insult to refuse-'

'I am not going to marry a Feegle! I can't have hundreds of babies! Tell me what to do!'

'Me? Tell the kelda what to do? I wouldn't dare,' said the toad. 'And I don't like being shouted at. Even toads have their pride, you know.' It crawled back into the leaves.

Tiffany took a deep breath, ready to shout, and then closed her mouth.

The old kelda must've known about this, she thought. So . . . she must have thought I'd be able to deal with it. It's just the rules, and they didn't know what to do about them. None of them wanted to marry a big girl like her, even if none of them would admit it. It was just the rules.

There must be a way round it. There had to be. But she had to accept a husband and she had to name the day. They'd told her that.

She stared at the thorn trees for a moment. Hmm, she thought.

She slid back down the hole.

The pictsies were waiting nervously, every scarred and bearded face watching hers.

'I accept you, Rob Anybody,' she said.

Rob Anybody's face became a mask of terror. She heard him mutter, 'Aw crivens!' in a tiny voice.

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