Powerful Phrases for Dealing with Difficult People by Renèe Evenson

Author:Renèe Evenson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: AMACOM Books

Step 1: Think First

Becky liked Eric, so she didn't really know what to say. But she knew that she needed to speak up because he didn't seem to understand how loudly he spoke. She thought about how to approach him without making him mad or defensive. She played through the conversation in her mind and then decided she was ready to have the conversation.

Step 2: Gain a Better Understanding

Becky waited until they were both off the phone and said: “Eric, do you have a minute?”

“Sure, Beck, what's up?” Eric smiled openly. Becky's heart sank because she didn't like confrontation, especially with someone she liked.

“Well, this is hard for me to say, Eric, but you talk so loud I have trouble hearing my customers. It's become really difficult for me to concentrate on my calls.” (“I” phrase)

“What? No one else seems to have a problem,” Eric countered

Becky offered: “Well, actually, some of my customers do. Just this morning another customer commented that she could hear you.”

Eric became defensive. “And some of my customers probably hear you too. None of our coworkers seem to have a problem with me.”

Becky smiled sincerely. “I've never talked to our coworkers about this. Eric, I'm sure you don't realize how loudly you speak. (understanding) But sometimes I do have trouble hearing my customers over your voice. And when they comment to me that they can hear you I know it's not just me being overly sensitive.” (“I” phrase)

Eric said, “I didn't realize that I spoke that loud.”

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