Pocket Your Dollars by Carrie Rocha

Author:Carrie Rocha
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: BUS050000, BUS050030
ISBN: 9781441261199
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Published: 2012-12-03T16:00:00+00:00

The Antidote: Become Generous

Students at the University of British Columbia played a game in blind pairs (where their partner’s identity was concealed from them). One partner received ten one-dollar coins as a reward for participating in the game. The other partner received no compensation.

The student who possessed the ten dollars was given the option to donate a portion of their money to the other student, whose identity had yet to be revealed. Each student had one stipulation: The giver had to hand-deliver whatever amount he or she decided to give, zero to ten dollars. The receiving student could not dispute the amount, even if it was nothing.

The generous students were compared against the stingy ones. The study found that the generous ones were happier; the stingy ones felt more shame. Researchers examined the results and concluded, “Stingy economic behavior can produce a feeling of shame.”[52]

The antidote to the I-can’t-afford-it feeling is generosity. Start with a commitment to give to others. You can derive more personal satisfaction from giving than you can from flexing your willpower muscle and restraining an expense.[53]

There are thousands of organizations doing incredible work around the world. Find one that matches your interests at CharityNavigator.org. Marco and I do the bulk of our giving through our local church. When we give there, we know we’re supporting our pastor and staff, but we also know that some portion is being passed along to other groups in our city, nation, and around the world. Our giving helps me temper the I-can’t-afford-it feeling of guilt or shame.

I tease my dad about a birthday dinner he bought me during my college years. He called in advance and said I could pick anywhere I wanted to eat. I was grateful for his generosity and eager to escape cafeteria food. I had a favorite place in mind. He arrived at my apartment, then fanned out a set of coupons and restated, “You can pick anywhere you want to eat,” this time implying that I could choose anywhere he had a coupon for. His attempt at generosity was thwarted by his commitment to frugal rules—namely, you eat out only with a coupon. One baby step at a time, he’s gotten more generous over the years, to the point that he contributed significantly to my wedding. That time there were no strings and no frugal rules attached. On my wedding day, my dad was filled with joy to see how happy his generous, no-strings-attached gift had made me and my new husband.

Don’t forget yourself

When I think of generosity and giving, my mind rushes to think of those less fortunate than I am. Like I’ve said, that’s a great place to start with your generosity, but don’t end there.

If you battle this I-can’t-afford-it mind-set, then you need to consciously make the effort to be generous to yourself as well. Set aside some fun money for yourself each month. Spend it on something you enjoy. While you spend it, refuse to feel guilty. Enjoy being good to yourself.

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