Pavel's Letters (Panther) by Maron Monika

Author:Maron, Monika [Maron, Monika]
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 978-1-44810-548-9
Publisher: Random House
Published: 2011-10-30T16:00:00+00:00

Hella 1940

Pavel’s letters from these years are not preserved. I presume that he, in his rural exile, longed for some news from the world, for an exchange of thoughts with his children. On 8 August 1940, Hella wrote: “Papa, you are still waiting to hear something about the position of England. They had absolutely no reaction. But I am sure the day will come when they will regret it. For Hitler said in a speech, if the war continues, he knows who will emerge victorious. And it will probably be a struggle of life and death. It’s all so sad, but as you can see, they don’t want it any other way. Yes, it’s always the same old thing: they don’t want it any other way.”

Disclosures like these are rare. After all, they always had to consider that the letters might be opened, says Hella.

That she should have written the letter of 7 July 1940 is hard for her to believe. But there it is, on the table between us, tightly typewritten, like all the letters, and signed by Hella. What Hella cannot believe is written at the top of the second page: “Above all, an important piece of news: Walter received the Iron Cross. Aren’t you proud of your son-in-law? He received it for constantly driving in great danger through cannon fire.”

Hella picks up the letter and examines it. She is not wearing her glasses. Whatever she is looking for, she cannot find. I don’t know anything about his receiving the Iron Cross, she says.

But would your parents have been happy about it?

I don’t know why I wrote this. Hella turns and twists the letter. I don’t know anything about an Iron Cross.

On a summer evening fifty-eight years ago, the twenty-four year-old Hella wrote a letter to her parents containing a phrase neither of us can explain today. You know, if I want to give myself the benefit of the doubt, says Hella, I think it was because of the censorship; slave’s language, it was slave’s language.

But why did you write it at all?

Maybe I thought it would be a comfort to them to know that my fiancé had the Iron Cross. I don’t know whether he really did get it. It certainly wasn’t important to me, otherwise I wouldn’t have forgotten.

Elsewhere you write that Walter was very popular with his comrades.

But that’s different, says Hella.

Yes, perhaps. But perhaps not. There’s no doubt that Hella hated the Nazis. She hated them for political reasons and because they threatened her life. She naturally wished that Germany would lose the war. Just as naturally she did not wish for the death of any of the soldiers, least of all the men she knew: Hänschen, her friend Charlotte’s son, Lucie’s husband, Marta’s friend Hans, and her own boyfriend Walter. Those who wanted to survive had to fight. Cowards gain no admiration, even in peacetime. Walter was not a coward. He wanted to marry Hella in spite of all prohibitions; when he was

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