One in a Million: Love at First Sight: Book Four by Parkes Poppy

Author:Parkes, Poppy
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Parkes Publishing
Published: 2020-04-20T16:00:00+00:00

Emmy

The thing about mistakes is that some of them aren’t as easy to undo as they were to make.

Once Kate calmed me down and I got over the after-alcohol jitters that always hit me when I drink, this fact hit me like a thunderbolt.

And it hasn’t stopped.

It’s been two days since Oliver stormed the gates of my heart and I’m still not able to get over him.

Yes — get over him. Because even though I realized that I need more of him, no matter the risk, I’d forgotten one thing.

I don’t have his number.

I’m not about to turn stalker to track him down either.

So I’m left with one option — I need to accept my mistakes and work through the grief of losing Oliver because of them.

It sounds easy when you say it out loud. As a therapist, I know that it’s anything but, and now I’m living that truth.

It fucking sucks.

But what else can I do? In the space of mere hours, my life split into three fractured parts.

There was the before — before I knew Oliver, when everything was fine. Perhaps a bit boring, but fine enough.

And then there was the during, the hours that I had him, that we had sex. The memory of our time together makes my nether regions pulse with need and my face flush bright to the tips of my ears whenever I think of it.

Finally, there is the after, which is what I must now live with forever. And even though Oliver was barely a blip on the radar when you look at my life as a whole, he’s changed everything. The after is identical to the before, except now what once was fine is painful and harsh, and I long for the one person I can’t have.

Because after what I did, why would he want me?

There’s kickboxing tonight again. Of course I’m going, because what the hell else am I supposed to do? Stay at home and curse myself for my stupidity?

I won’t. So I’ll go.

But I refuse to hope that Oliver will be there too. My brain knows there’s no way in hell that he’d risk more damage by seeing me at class, even from afar, and I don’t blame him.

I hurt him.

I hurt myself.

This is why love is terrible, why I’ve never trusted myself with its awesome power.

But now I can also see why it’s worth the risk, like Kate said. Because those few hours I had with Oliver before I mucked it all up? They were some of the best hours of my life. I wouldn’t trade them, not for anything.

I finally understand that Shakespeare quote, which I’ve always thought was sentimental and simpering — it really is better to have loved and lost than to miss out entirely.

I just wish I’d known that before I ruined everything. Maybe I wouldn’t have let my own fears get in the way of whatever happiness, whether the fleeting or forever kind, awaited Oliver and I.

Now I’m left with choosing the next best thing for myself.

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