Of Donkeys, Dogs, and Rogue Bits: The Nose of Truth (Starship Ass Book 2) by Ethan Freckleton & J. R. Frontera

Author:Ethan Freckleton & J. R. Frontera [Freckleton, Ethan]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Funny Ass Fiction
Published: 2019-08-19T06:00:00+00:00

15

Cass stared into the mirror. She did not glare into the mirror, because she was trying to feign a positive attitude like the Federation so loved its people to have. She was trying her damnedest to maintain the illusion she’d come here voluntarily to resume her position within the Federation … but by God, Rear Admiral Hawke was making it hands-down the most difficult mission she’d ever attempted—in the entirety of her military and pirate careers.

Hawke hovered behind her, grinning like an idiot, as usual. “Splendid,” he said. “You look absolutely splendid, Bambi!”

But she did not. She looked absolutely ridiculous.

Her fitted, slinky dark blue gown glimmered in the light when she moved. The top half didn’t look too bad, maybe, but the bottom half of the dress showed off the hard, angular outlines of her mechanical leggings.

The ship’s tailor continued to fuss at her waist, pinning and marking the fabric. He claimed he could make the dress flair out more there to provide a “more flattering” view.

Cass clenched her teeth to keep from balling her hands into fists or punching the tailor in the face … or spinning around and doing the same to Rear Admiral Hawke.

This whole scenario was ridiculous.

And so very much like the Federation.

At least she did not have to suffer alone. Commodore Corvus was also being subjected to a dress fitting, standing only meters to Cass’s left, bedecked in a deep red ensemble with a plunging neckline and layered tulle skirt.

Unlike Cass, Commodore Corvus did not try to hide her disgust and displeasure at this humiliation. Her face was nearly as red as her dress as she stood rigidly in front of her mirror. The woman did, actually, look quite striking in the dress, if one discounted her murderous visage.

Cass cleared her throat to keep a sudden chuckle from escaping. Well, any time she got too fed up with this ridiculous dress or Hawke’s stupidity, she could just take comfort in Anasua’s unhappiness.

“There!” the tailor stepped away from Cass and removed a few straight pins from between his teeth. He admired his handy work. “That should do it! I can have these adjustments made pronto. Everything will be ready by the time we hit the Canis Minor system.”

Rear Admiral Hawke nodded, rubbing his hands together. “Oh very good, very good. You ladies look absolutely radiant. Now … all that’s missing is our secret weapon.” He paused and frowned. “Now that I think about it … McGee should have had him back here already.”

A jolt of realization hit Cass and her heart skipped a beat, then started pounding fierce hope through her blood.

“Where is he, I wonder?” Hawke mused.

The commodore’s glare was sharp as a razor. “You could just ask the computer,” she bit out.

Hawke ignored her and called for one of the midshipmen standing on useless guard duty by the fitting room entrance. The man jerked to attention and trotted over to the Rear Admiral’s side.

“Yes, Admiral?” he asked.

“Would you do me a favor and go find McGee … we need the secret weapon up here STAT! He’s late.

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