Odysseus II by Unknown

Author:Unknown
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Canelo Books
Published: 2016-08-12T00:00:00+00:00

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Odysseus woke with a start. “Storm!” he shouted. “Make the boat fast!” And knowing the ship was their only hope of survival, the crew leapt up, heaved it out of the water, lashed it down, and then climbed back on board to wait for the hurricane to end.

It was a long wait.

On the third day their sandwiches ran out.

On the fifth day their biscuits ran out.

On the seventh day their patience ran out.

Wrapping their clothes tight around them, they set off in search of food. The island was full of delicious-looking, chubby, brown cows, dripping with drizzle. They had big, soppy eyes and soft, round, pink noses. But the men were forbidden to touch them. Thersites looked at them wistfully and his mouth watered.

“I don’t suppose …” he began, sharpening his knife.

“Leave those cattle alone,” ordered Odysseus. “You’re a vegetarian.”

“All right. All right. I was only asking.”

They combed the island for hours until they were soaked through to their vests and pants, but they found nothing to eat.

By the tenth day they were thin as rakes. “We’ll be dead soon,” thought Odysseus and took up his bow.

“I’m going to try again,” he announced. “Who’s coming with me?”

“Go on your own,” replied Thersites, sulkily. “It’s wet outside. We’ll all get colds.”

“All right,” answered Odysseus, “but whatever you do, don’t …”

“Yes, we know,” chorused the men.

Odysseus left the boat, and the men smiled at each other. Thersites slipped out and shuffled off in the other direction. The men waited. There was a distant THUNK! Then Thersites returned.

“There’s been a terrible accident,” he said. “I was walking along with my sword over my shoulder, and I tripped over a cow, and accidentally its head fell off.”

“What a shame,” replied the men sympathetically.

“And now it’s dead it seems a pity to waste it, doesn’t it?” added Thersites.

“Oh, yes!” agreed the men, and went out to collect firewood.

Half an hour later, THUNK!, another sailor came back with another dead cow. “You’ll never guess what,” he said, “there’s been a terrible accident …”

At dusk, a very wet Odysseus returned with berries and a dead rabbit. The smell of roast meat filled the air. All round the boat were shelters made of tarpaulin and brushwood, and underneath them were sailors sheltering from the rain, laughing, telling stories and singing “One man went to mow”. Odysseus knew the terrible truth – his men were throwing a barbecue.

He strode up to them in fury.

“You swore you wouldn’t kill the cattle,” he raged.

“Don’t worry,” scoffed Thersites. “Stop nagging. Sometimes you’re just like my mother.”

At that moment, a ghastly mooing filled the air. Everybody spun round. On Thersites’ fire, a whole cow’s carcass was roasting and the sound was coming from the dead beast’s mouth. Then all the other carcasses joined in, all the chops and the steaks and the spare ribs and even the little hamburgers.

“Moo! Moo!” they went. “You’re Doooomed! Doooooomed!”

Odysseus shivered. He knew what punishment was in store for his men, but he said nothing. Why spoil their

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